Tuesday, December 19

Line Rider Wiiiiii!

If you haven't already played with Line Rider, I suggest you do so. I haven't used it since its first incarnation. From what I've seen on the newest official site, it's much more sophisticated and much easier to use. Basically, you draw lines, then press play, and watch as a little character goes flying down your newly created world on a sled; it's more of a toy than a game, but incredibly addicting and fun. And now they've announced that it will be released for the Wii and the DS in the spring of next year. This is probably the best news I've ever heard. I'm not kidding. I'm incredibly excited about it.

Via: wii.ign.com
Official Site: Line Rider
Official Press Release: Line Rider News
Best use of Line Rider (see below):

Top 10 of '06

Here are my top 10 albums of the year.

1-Tom Waits- Orphans (all 3)
2-Bruce Springsteen- We Shall Overcome
3-Hank Williams III - Straight To Hell
4-Atmosphere - You Can't Imagine How Much Fun Were Having
5-Kill Cheerleader- All Hail
6-The Bronx- The Bronx II
7-The Hold Steady- Boys and Girls in America
8-Butch Walker- The Rise and Fall of Butch Walker & The Let's-Go-Out-Tonights
9-Jay-Z- Kingdom Come
10-Johnny Cash- American V: A Hundred Highways
10.5-Converge- No Heros

Monday, December 18

B[ow]log-4 damn pins

I need to go home and take a nap, but just let me say real quick that last night I bowled a 266
x x x 8/ x x x x x x 8/
It was a lot of fun. I think that 300 is on its way. I kick ass.

PS. By taking a "nap" I mean going home to play Zelda. I'll sleep when I'm dead. Long live the Wii

Monday, December 11

Good News! + Where Have I Been?

The good news is that The Tick is still hilarious. As many of you know, it was recently my birthday. And for said birthday, I had a little bit of birthday cash. I spend some on Disney's Robin Hood and the rest on The Tick vs. Season 1. I was a bit wary about buying it, as I remember the show being awesome, but I also remember The Super Mario Bros. show being awesome (which it turns out is terrible). But, as I threw in the first disc and jumped into episode 1, I realized (which rarely happens) that I had occasional good taste as a child. The DVD set has no extras and is missing episode 11 (due to some creative/legal issues). But, for $25, you can't beat 4+ hours of a fantastic cartoon.

So, this brings us to part 2 of this post. Where the hell have I been? I've been drowning under new media. Guitar Hero 2 + Zelda + the Wii in general + 2 volumes of Looney Tunes = no time to blog. Not to mention that work has been crazy busy lately. I would love to break all of these activities down and write up reviews of each, but, again, no time. So, I will say these things:

1) It was worth staying up all night in front of Best Buy for the Wii. Not only has this allowed me the opportunity to plug in 30+ hours into Zelda, but it contributed to an awesome birthday party (4 player tennis is infinitely better than 1 or 2 player tennis). 2) Zelda is a fantastic game. 3) Guitar Hero 2 is...well...fantastic as well. 4) Watching all the old Looney Tunes (I'm 5+ hours into those, without watching the extras) is a wonderful experience. Not only does it offer some great nostalgia, but I still find them to be genuinely funny. My Saturday morning hasn’t been this fun since I watched the cartoons when they aired on Saturday morning the first time.

Also, off subject, I tried absinthe for the first time last night, real pre-ban recipe absinthe. No, no hallucinating or anything. Apparently, that's just a myth and it would take a lethal amount of wormwood to actually create any sort of hallucinogenic effect. But, it is delicious (pretty much a strong anise liquor), and despite being 136 proof, tastes nothing like alcohol. Fantastic stuff. There's really no good reason this stuff is still banned.

Wednesday, November 29

A Wii Birthday Party

So, I've told most everyone in the area about this already, but, this will serve as a reminder. Monday (the 27th) was my birthday. As this last weekend was full of things like Thanksgiving and people from out of town in town, I moved my birthday down a week. Which brings us to this Saturday (the 2nd).

We're having a birthday/our dog Ruggles graduated from puppy class party. We've got the Nintendo Wii, Candy Land, and, if we get bored, about 14 hours of Looney Tunes. Show up at party o'clock. Bring drinks of your choice. If you don't know where I live, you're not invited.

Tuesday, November 21

RIP

Robert Altman died last night. He made good movies.

Monday, November 20

recap

I have been working a ton at both jobs so I haven't had much time to be on the internet as of late.
So heres what's going on-

Tomorrow is a big day for music. The new Hova album "Kingdom Come" drops. I didn't really like the single "Show me what you got" at first, but its grown on me, and now I love it. I don't know how he can do anything that would top "Reasonable Doubt" or "The Black Album" but even less then perfect Jay-Z is still damn good.
Tom Waits also hits us with 3 CDs of greatness. If you don't know already your a bitch...so heres the deal, title "Orphans" 3 discs each titled Brawlers, Bawlers and Bastards. I've heard some of it and it is already in my top 3 releases of the year.

I haven't had a lot of time to play GH2, but I do know it fucking rocks. I went through all the songs on medium in one day (just to unlock) and am now doing it on hard. Sometime I kick ass and sometimes I get my ass kicked, but its always a damn good time.

I've read about half of Neil Gaimans "Fragile Things". So far I have enjoyed "How to talk to girls at paryts" the most, but it is all good.

I want a Wii. If anyone wants to send me one I'll give you my address. Thanks a bunch.

Like I said I have been working way to much...about 30-35 hours a week at Starbucks and 40 at AMF. I have been bowling like shit. My average has droped from 164 to 148. I need to get it back up quick...
Deadwood is still kicking my ass daily. I have now gone through both sessions and I just keep on re-watching it. I should just buy it so I can once again put Netflix to use. I miss all you assholes. Give me a call sometime and remeber to have a drink for me.

Sunday, November 19

Wii

It was worth the ten hours I spent in the cold outside of Best Buy. I was the first in line for the Wii, and, oh gods, it's fucking awesome. Right now, I'm so fascinated by Wii Sports that I can't even imagine beginning Zelda...but I will soon anyway...and it will blow my mind I'm sure.

Buy one as soon as you can. And play Rayman; it's hilarious.

Thursday, November 9

GH2: First Impressions

I don't feel the need to write a full review. For those, go here or here. They both support unique positions that I think are worth reading. But this is what I think about the game thus far:

Awesome. I have now finished the game on hard, and so I've had a chance to play through all of the main songs. All-in-all, I think this time around, the game is a lot easier. As I mentioned in the comments, the game initially seems a lot more difficult. It seems that way because there are more notes, more solos, and they come at you in various places. (Some songs, for instance, will start with a solo; GH1 almost always started with some standard guitar riff before going into a complex section). However, now that you don't need to hold the lower buttons down while playing for hammer-ons and pull-offs, the game ultimately becomes easier. I was able to blast through hard without ever losing a song, and I have 5 stars on over half of them. But, really, is this a bad thing?

The answer: no. And this is why. I enjoy playing this game for multiple reasons, but one of the main reasons is that I feel awesome when I play through a song well. And I feel even better if I play through a complex song well. It gives me that fantastic delusional thought that I can rock out to "Freebird" on the guitar. So, give me more notes to play, make it look absolutely insane, make it sound awesome, but then make it slightly easier to nail every note, and you've got yourself a happy gamer.

All that said, I'm thinking that expert will be quite a jump up in difficulty, and I'm looking forward to getting my ass kicked, so that I can use the practice mode a bit more. There are too many unlockables to be disappointed in the change of challenge. (You can unlock different guitars both by beating a difficulty level and getting 5 stars on all the songs for a difficulty level. So, once I'm well into expert, I'll probably go back and attempt 5 stars on all the hard songs.)

Before I end, I must complain about one thing that no one else seems to care about. Why the hell would you be playing Allman Brothers' "Jessica" or Heart's "Crazy on You" on the Vans' Warped Tour? The location and the song list didn't always match up, and it weirded me out. But, hell, if this is my only complaint, I'd say you've got a damn good games in your hands.

Thursday, November 2

The OC 4.01

Nothing else really needs to be said.

Thursday, October 26

GH2 + Strong Bad?

Someone got a hold of the list of bonus tracks for Guitar Hero 2. While most of them I don't know and wouldn't expect to know, there are some notable tracks. Every Time I Die has the song "The New Black" on there, there's a Buckethead song, some Shadows Fall, and then there's this: Strong Bad's Trogdor. Yes, from Homestarrunner... WhatTheFuck? Whatever, here's the full list:

Artist--Song

  • The Acro-brats--Laughtrack
  • All That Remains--Six
  • The Amazing Royal Crowns--Mr. Fix-It
  • Anarchy Club--Collide
  • Bang Camaro--Push Push (Lady Lightning)
  • Breaking Wheel (formerly known as Artillery)--One For The Road
  • Brian Kahanek--Gemini
  • Buckethead--Jordan
  • Count Zero--Radium Eyes
  • Dethklok--Thunder Horse
  • Drist--Arterial Black
  • Every Time I Die--The New Black
  • Freezepop--Less Talk More Rokk
  • Honest Bob and the Factory-to-Dealer Incentives--Soy Bomb
  • The Last Vegas--Raw Dog
  • Made in Mexico--Yes We Can
  • Megasus--Red Lottery
  • The Neighborhoods--Parasite
  • Shadows Fall--The Light That Blinds
  • Strong Bad (of Homestar Runner)--Trogdor
  • That Handsome Devil--Elephant Bones
  • Vagiant--FTK
  • Valient Thorr--Fall of Pangea
  • Voivod--X-Stream
I feel that a I must point out that these were found by "a camera-happy retail employee" who "snapped some pictures of all the songs available for purchase in the in-game store." So, who knows how accurate this is...but my guess that, yes, you will be rocking out to Rage Against the Machine and then Strong Bad in one fell swoop.

Tuesday, October 24

Devil May Cry Heaven

For those who are fans of the Devil May Cry series and haven't bought any of the games (I imagine I am one of the few), this is awesome. It's the Devil May Cry 5th Annivesary Bundle, which includes (surprise) Devil May Cry, Devil May Cry 2, and Devil May Cry 3: Special Edition for a meager $29.99. That's a lot of demon ass kicking for $30.

Thursday, October 19

The Nightmare Before Christmas 3D

I just got back from an advanced screening (one day is hardly an advance, but it was free) of The Nightmare Before Christmas 3D. Obviously, the movie is great; I don't need to spend any time on that. So, this brings up the obvious question, how was the 3D? My first (and only previous) foray into 3D movies was when I took my younger brother to see Spy Kids 3D (yes, I saw it). You wore the cheap red and blue cardboard glasses and it was hardly 3D. You mostly watched red and blue lines zip across the screen as you began to fill sick to your stomach. Only a handful of times did it feel like you were watching it in the third dimension. Now, with the onslaught of digital projectors, they've amped up how 3D works in theatres. The red and blue cheapo glasses are gone. Instead, you get to wear giant plastic glasses with almost clear shades. The ones we got were large and green and would make the most fashionista of all of us weep. If you haven't witnessed a film with a digital projector, you're already missing out on how to see a movie in the theatre. The colors are crisp and beautiful and you have no lag when it skips from frame to frame. So, as the previews started, I was already excited about the sheer quality that my eyes were seeing.

Then the 3D kicked in. Dear. God. It's gorgeous. Seemless transition from front to back and the insane amount of layers in between, it truly feels as though you are watching it as though it were unfolding in front of you. The film was fantastic in its original form, but this brought it to an unexpected height in my eyes. Well worth seeing (even multiple times) in the theatre.

The only negative thing I have to say about it is no fault of the movie itself. When you watch a film in 3D, you expect things to jump out at you, stare at you in the face mere feet from your eyes. However, when you transfer a movie not intended for 3D into 3D, you obviously have less opportunity for these effects. The few that ocurred in the film were frightening and fantastic. This still does not detract from the experience. It only says to me that as this medium becomes more frequent and more viable, the better it will become in the future. I'm extremely excited about it, because this was one of the best viewing experiences I've had at a movie.

Go, now, and you will understand all that I have said.

Wednesday, October 18

Links Roundup

I would like to watch Lost, but I'm too far behind to start now. But, I do watch Heroes. So, here's an interesting article about how the two shows may be connected.

If you weren't convinced that Guitar Hero II was going to be awesome, read this.

Here's a better article about the Scarlett Johansson singing Tom Waits.

And it's been a while since I've linked to Lore Sjöberg's column, but this one is hilarious. It follows his foray into setting up a MySpace account with the ultimate punchline of his MySpace page.

Tuesday, October 17

Coolest Party Ever

Bill Murray was in Scotland the other day for a golf tournament, and while out at the bar Bill was invited to a party by some 22 year old chick. So, being awesome, Bill decided to go. Before leaving he ended up doing a bunch of their dishes. Read more here....

How cool would it be to party with Bill Murray? He is in my "top 5 actors I would like to hang out with".

Weirdest CD Ever

So, imdb news is full of strange stuff today. It turns out that Scarlett Johansson has just signed a record deal to record the CD, aptly named, Scarlett Sings Tom Waits. I guess that explains what it is, but who the hell knows how that will turn out.

Weirdest Crew Ever

Lately, they've been turning everything into musicals. Normally, I would have passed over this headline "'Shrek' Set for Broadway," because, I don't care. But, as I scanned the small paragraph, I realized that it was being helmed by Sam Mendes and directed by Jason Moore. So, it's being helmed by the guy who brought us American Beauty and The Road to Perdition, and it's being directed by the guy who gave us Avenue Q. I really hope that it turns out to be all about Sex, Drugs, and the Color Red as I would expect from these guys. Madness.

Monday, October 16

Music Reviews

I actually bought music this weekend. Anyone that knows me well, knows that I have a few CDs from a ways back that I continue to listen to over and over if I'm not listening to the radio. This was a direct link to the fact that my old car's CD player functioned terribly if at all. But I was used to it and the CDs I owned and so now only buy new music if it's something I'm excited about.

This weekend I bought TV on the Radio's Return to Cookie Mountain and The Hold Steady's Boys and Girls in America. I'm loving both of them. I wanted to share how much I enjoyed the CDs with others and so considered writing reviews of them and posting them here. But then I realized that I'm terrible at writing music reviews. I certainly don't have the general music knowledge of others that would allow me to give this music justice. So, I will now point you to Pitchfork's reviews. I normally hate Pitchfork, but I actually agreed with them for once. So, read these, then go buy the music.

The Hold Steady Boys and Girls in America review
TV on the Radio Return to Cookie Mountain review

Friday, October 13

With all this Gilliam talk...

I thought I'd bring you this. It's a crazy steampunk rusty laptop that actually works. The product page is all in Japanese, but the people at Gizmodo (where I found the link) say it has a"working display, working keyboard, and working morse code input." Yeah...morse code input. That's useful. They also said he was inspired by "both the Apple Mac (he wanted to make something completely different) and Terry Gilliam." It really is the most Gilliam looking laptop I've ever seen. Now only if there was a picture with a midget using it...

Update: I just read over at Boing Boing (where apparently everyone got this link from) that "In his notes, the creator resists comparisons to Gilliam and Cronenberg, saying 'if you look carefully, you'll see it's totally different.'" So, maybe it is different. I don't care. I'm not changing the title of this post.

Thursday, October 12

More Tideland

IGN now has a review of Gilliam's latest, Tideland, up on its site. It seems to confirm everything we've been saying in the comments. I think this paragraph summed it up pretty well:

That's why Tideland is such a frustrating experience. The film is a difficult one to sit through for much of its running time, not simply because of its ungainly narrative structure, but also because of some increasingly gut-wrenching scenes. Still, one can't simply discount Gilliam's efforts so easily, for it is clear that there is more at work here than what is on the surface. The film is Gilliam unrestrained to be sure, and the result is a picture that has no chance at commercial success whatsoever — but a great shot at upsetting many a right-wing politico at the very least.
The review then delves into the plot a bit too much, probably not really giving away anything intergral to the viewing experience (if you've read anything on it, you've probably already read about the heroin and adult-child relationship), but it doesn't add too much to the other buzz that I've read about the film. How many times do I have to read phrases like this: "But if the idea of seeing a little girl helping her dad shoot up doesn't bother you, and neither does the notion of human taxidermy, then how about the blossoming romance between an adolescent girl and an adult, mentally-disabled man?" Yeah, we get it; subject matter that may be hard to watch.

It makes me long for a film community like the extreme films of Japan. I watch Miike's films, like Visitor Q, and there's incest, abuse, necrophelia, drugs, everything...and no one seemed to mind. Here, in the States, one girl helps her dad shoot up heroin, and suddenly it's so controversial, so new and depraved. Go watch the opener to Ichi the Killer and then come talk to me about depraved (and hilarious).

Regardless, I'm going to see it. The bottom line is that I don't care. I really like Gilliam and if the movie is "Gilliam unrestrained," then I feel like I won't be disappointed.

wow



This is the trailer for the Planet Terror (the Rodriquez) part of Grind House. I could go on and on about how much this is going to kick ass, but it really wouldn't do it justice. You need to watch it...but probably not at work...

Tuesday, October 10

IGN + Gilliam Interview

IGN has an interview with Terry Gilliam about his new film, Tideland. From what I've briefly read of the reviews and what critics are saying, I would assume that the movie wouldn't be that great, but then I guess I didn't realize how controversial the movie has been. Gilliam refers to the book by Mitch Cullin as "...filthy, perverse, disgusting, and un-filmable," and he reminds us that:

"My films get bad reviews....The ones that didn't get bad reviews were: Fisher King got really good reviews; Twelve Monkeys got mixed reviews. Fear and Loathing got shitty reviews beyond belief. It's one of the most successful films I've done. My films tend to get bad reviews. In retrospect, I'm loved; it's 10 years later that suddenly everyone likes [me]."
I'm such a sucker for Gilliam movies, and I still have faith in his films, despite the fact that The Brothers Grimm was pretty shitty. Most of his issues in the recent past have all been about budget and studio disagreements, and seeing as this film is entirely independent, I'm hoping he's got something fun on his hands. And, really, this bit from IGN just makes me want to watch it more, "Tideland is a film that many people are going to hate, that much is certain. Its tale of a little girl lost in a depraved version of Middle America has already turned off several critics, and it has been considered barely-releasable by most film pundits."

Update: There's an article on Ain't It Cool News from a while ago that makes me think that I'll enjoy it thoroughly.

GH2: Dear rock gods...

The final tracklist for the main 40 songs for Guitar Hero 2 has been confirmed. They are as follows (separated into groups of difficulty):

Opening Licks
Danzig--"Mother"
Cheap Trick--"Surrender"
Motley Crue--"Shout at the Devil"
Wolfmother--"Woman"
Encore: Spinal Tap--"Tonight I'm Gonna Rock You Tonight"

Amp-Warmers
Kiss--"Strutter"
Nirvana--"Heart-Shaped Box"
Police--"Message in a Bottle"
Van Halen--"You Really Got Me"
Encore: Kansas--"Carry on Wayward Son"

String-Snappers
Alice in Chains--"Them Bones"
Foo Fighters--"Monkey Wrench"
Iggy Pop and the Stooges--"Search and Destroy"
Pretenders--"Tattooed Love Boys"
Encore: Black Sabbath--"War Pigs"

Thrash and Burn
Butthole Surfers--"Who Was in My Room Last Night"
Mathew Sweet--"Girlfriend"
Rolling Stones--"Can't You Hear Me Knockin'"
Warrant--"Cherry Pie"
Encore: Guns N' Roses--Sweet Child O' Mine

Return of the Shred
Primus--"John the Fisherman"
Rage Against the Machine--"Killing in the Name Of"
Sword--"Freya"
Thin Lizzy--"Bad Reputation"
Encore: Aerosmtih--Last Child

Relentless Riffs
Allman Brothers--"Jessica"
Heart--"Crazy on You"
Stone Temple Pilots--"Tripping on a Hole in a Paper Heart"
Stray Cats--"Rock This Town"
Encore: Jane's Addiction--"Stop"

Furious Fretwork
Anthrax--"Madhouse"
Lamb of God--"Laid to Rest"
Living End--"Carry Me Home"
Reverend Horton Heat--"Psychobilly Freakout"
Encore: Rush--"YYZ"

Face-Melters
Avenged Sevenfold--"Beast and the Harlot"
Dick Dale--"Misirlou"
Megadeth--"Hangar 18"
Suicidal Tendencies--"Institutionalized"
Encore: Lynyrd Skynyrd--"Free Bird"


I could go on and on about how this list is fantastic, but I'll just let the glory of it all sink in while you do finger warm-ups for rocking out to some Free Bird. Oh, and the game will have a total of 64 tracks, 24 of those being unlockable bonus tracks.

Monday, October 9

When I come back like Jordan, wearin the 45...

Here is the new Jay-Z single Show Me What You Got off the upcoming album of the same name. The song is pretty damn good, but I'm not sure how I feel about Jay coming back. I want to hear new songs, but how does anyone follow up the Black Album, even Hova himself. Either way I can't wait for this to come out.


Here is the trailer for Unknown. IMDB plot outline is "Five men wake up in a locked-down warehouse with no memory of who they are. They are forced to figure out who is good and who is bad to stay alive". It looks like it is going to be a lot better than it sounds. The story/idea does feel really familiar. Is this a re-make/rip-off?


Here my review of the new Hold Steady album Boys and Girls in America: it kicks ass, and each time I listen to it the ass kicking increases just a little bit. So right now there is a steadily increasing stream of ass kickary by the Hold Steady, which will climax on the 21st when I see them and Sean Na Na. If you haven't got the album, and you like good music, stop being a bitch and pick it up.

Thursday, October 5

wed. night tv

I have never been a big Monday night TV watcher with the Dan and Sam crew but I am now a big Wednesday night watcher. Ok, maybe big is the wrong word, lets put it this way. Up until The OC started a couple years back I hadn't had a TV show that I watched week to week in I don't know how long. Then Thursday nights became a night to watch the OC, mostly by myself or draging along some roommates to watch with me. Then I found out that Sam and Dan here started to watch it, they quickly got caught up on what they had missed and it became our Thursday night get together...if you are wondering, the Bowling league came later, but worked out pretty damn nice with our Thursday night thing. Anyway, last year I was introduced to a new show, Project Runway, and it is now part of my Wednesday night watching. This season is almost over, but I will have a good three weeks of getting to watch Project Runway and my new show Lost together. For those of you who aren't into Lost, you need to start. And I don't mean you need to start watching season 3 right away...in fact don't let that thought cross your mind. Do my new favorite thing to do, go buy the first 2 seasons, wait for season 3 to come out on DVD, watch all of it before 4th season starts (if there will be a 4th season) and just like that you are all caught up. Now that everyone knows where we are, on to the kind-of-reviews.

PR - For the first time ever there will be four finalist showing at Fashion Week, normally its only three. Its a pretty cool twist, and should make for a good show. But I have never talked about PR here before and my goal isn't really to start, so lets move on.

LOST - This show is F-U-C-K fucked up. I just finished watching season two last week, which made season 1 look like a walk in the park. But one episode into season 3 and I have no clue what the hell is going on. No idea at all. Normally you can at least follow along with someone or something, but this new story is just crazy. I have a feeling that I personally won't like how all this stuff plays out, but none the less I have to know. Is everyone following along? No? Good. Because you really shouldn't be reading this any more. You should be out there picking up the first two seasons, sending me an E-mail to DVR all season 3 for you and finding yourself lots of time to get caught up in a hurry. Have fun. As a side note, there was a special on earlier this week to recap everything that has happened so far on Lost and our DVR auto recorded it for us, just incase we watch the show or wanted to start. I thought that was kind of niffty.

Blogwha?

Apparently people are slower than I thought they were. I really hope this is confined to England, and that people elsewhere are slightly more aware, more tech savvy, but I doubt it. It turns out that "According to research from Nielsen/NetRatings, people are buying cutting-edge technology but often don't understand the terms that describe what their device actually does." I expected the "jargon" in this article to be esoteric to some degree, if not full-out geek speak. But, no, the terms people don't understand are:

  • IM
  • Blogging
  • Wiki
  • Podcasting
  • RSS
If the terms weren't on every single goddamn webpage on the all of the Internets, I would have been okay with it. But what really kills me is this: "Millions of people keep in touch via instant messaging but some 57% of online Brits said they did not know that the acronym for it was IM." Wow, where have people been? Apparently living in pre-AOL times. Seriously people, welcome to 1999.

And while, sure, I didn't know that RSS stood for "Really Simple Syndication," I use them all the time and know what they're supposed to do. And at least I have a blog, whatever the hell that is.

Post Script: They did this research with people that are already users of the Internets, not people that still haven't figured out how to turn on their computers. And if you even try to argue generational gap, let me inform you that even my mother knows how to send a text message, and she still sends forwards to people thinking that something magical will happen once she does so.

Tuesday, October 3

Monday TV

Deal or No Deal: I hate this show. I can't stop watching it. I want to; I really do. But it's always the only thing on in that time slot and I can't help but to throw away dollar after dollar attempting to win the stupid home game challenge. Damn you Howie Mandel, damn you.

Heroes: Albeit predictable and melodramatic, this show is fun, fun, fun. I'm genuinely excited to see how all these people get pulled together, how they utilize their powers, and why there is a villain at all. I suppose there's always some megalomaniac in the world who wishes to destroy everything for his own pleasure.

Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip: Despite the fact that I've lambasted the show as being too dramatic for its own good, I'm still watching it. If nothing else, there are fantastic nuggets of witty dialogue strewn into the otherwise drab plot.

Monday, October 2

B[ow]log: The Reunion

Bowling: It's been at least forever since we've gone bowling. Sam's in Seattle and the rest of us are too lazy to stay out late when we have to work in the morning. So, when we started, we started with rather low expectations for ourselves. Ciggy began the night proving those expectations wrong, waiting until he was half-way through the evening to even begin hitting below a 150, ultimately climaxing at a 205 before plummeting to the depths of 120s. Sam, who now works at a bowling alley and thinks he's awesome at bowling, capped the night off with a 224 by nailing 5 strikes in a row in the last 3 frames of the game. Craig bowled wildly and inconsistently, but did, in fact, bowl well for the majority of the night. I started out very slowly, but finally built up my momentum into a 195.

BBH: The gun still didn't work very well, but we had already plugged $12 into the machine. It mostly consisted of holding the gun really close to the screen and shooting it machine gun style. Doug had showed up and was taking turns by substituting for us, but liked YSACing whenever it was my turn. And he had chosen Canada. Lame. I'm only bitter because I lost...or got third place...either way, I didn't win.

Highlights: Sam picked up a 5-7 split. We all found out that Craig still bowled by aiming at the pins. What a n00b.

Wednesday, September 20

This is not a list

Begin List:

  • America's Next Top Model (ANTM) starts tonight
  • Boston Legal (BL) started last night and wasn't as awesome as expected, but still fantastic
  • Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip is already overrated (too much melodrama)
  • The Thursday TV lineup is fantastic (My Name is Earl, then The Office, then The O.C.)
  • Future iterations of Guitar Hero might be going to other platforms (another reason not to feel bad about not buying a PS3)
  • FoxFaith now exists
  • The Venezuelan President confirms what we all we thinking
  • And, finally, the biggest surprise of all: Willie Nelson is a stoner and a hippie

End List.

Saturday, September 16

Trailers

Princess is a Danish animated film about a missionary priest, August, who has to take care of his niece, Mia, after his porn star sister dies. Needless to say 5 year old Mia is pretty fucked up from living with a porn star mother and August feels the best thing he can do is destroy all the porn her mom ever did. What follows is a lot of blood and violence.

Everyone knows what Eragon is and here is the trailer. I haven't read the book, but the movie looks like it might be pretty cool. I am a sucker for dragons and there aren't nearly enough good dragon movies.

This is the IMDB plot outline for Renaissance "In 2054, Paris is a labyrinth where all movement is monitored and recorded. Casting a shadow over everything is the city's largest company, Avalon, which insinuates itself into every aspect of contemporary life to sell its primary export -- youth and beauty. In this world of stark contrasts and rigid laws the populace is kept in line and accounted for." This looks like it will kick ass. Everyone is says its part Sin City and Pary A Scanner Darkly visually. The story is getting mixed reviews.

Here is a little teaser trailer for Saw 3. Who knows about this one. Hope its better than 2.

Severance doesn't look like its going to be as good as Shawn of the Dead, but it might be worth seeing. Its not really a RomZomCom its more of a ComHorThril (?) about an office outing gone bad.

I think Apocalypto is going to be lame, but I could be wrong.

Curse of the Golden Flower
is going to kick ass. People are saying its going to be better than Hero and House of Flying Daggers.

The Invisible could be pretty cool. Someone kills this high school kid and his ghost comes back and tries to find out who killed him.

You want to hear the theme song for the Pick of Destiny by the D, and you can do it here...it will fuckin rock your socks off.

Thursday, September 14

11.17.06

Here it is. The Wii release details.


  • November 17, 2006
  • $250

  • I'm there.

    Friday, September 8

    b[ow]log: Take lane 18

    A few days ago I decided to take a break from my daily job hunt, which was getting pretty frustrating, and go bowling. I looked online and found an alley about 2 miles away. When I got there I started to shoot the shit with the people behind the counter, and after a few minutes the manager offered me a job. Now normally I wouldn't really want to work at a bowling alley especially after going to college and being educated and all the shit (ha), but I have been looking for a job for abouta month and haven't found anything so I was getting pretty desperate. I had told myself that if I didn't get a job by Friday (today) I was going to work at the grocery store. Now I love food, but I love bowling more so this job might be slightly more interesting. It will probably end up being pretty short term (or not), but for now it should be fun/interesting, and its a hell of a lot better than nothing. I start tonight. Just call me Steve.
    As far as bowling goes I didn't do to bad- 182, 155, 170, 169. I could tell it had been a while. I was all over the place. I also think I found a league to be on.
    I miss bowling with you guys (dan, ciggy, craig). Should I bring the balls when I come back for Moss's wedding? I'm going to be back from Sept. 27- Oct. 3.

    Shatner Shatner Shatner

    I can never get enough Shatner. While this interview with Wired is not particularly interesting, it does exist, and it does have Shatner answering this question in classic Shatner awesomeness.

    WN: I'm glad to hear that. So speaking hypothetically, how do you feel about the possibility of someone else taking on Kirk's gold shirt in the upcoming movie?
    Shatner: Well as long as he's good-looking, talented, slim and ... rich, I guess. Lacking any of those elements I would feel very bad.

    Wednesday, September 6

    I sense something; a presence I've not felt since...

    Next week Star Wars episodes IV, V and VI will be released individually on DVD for the first time ever. The awesome thing about this is that each will include the original theatrical version. I have held out on buying the Star Wars box set for this. I don't know about you but I like the originals so much more. So what if there were a few mistakes here and there. That just added to the "dirty universe" feel, and I don't want that cleaned up. Of course there are the bigger changes in there too, such as; the new CG Jabba the Hut talking to Solo, the Mos Eisley Cantina scene, the big crowds cheering at the end, and of course Han shoots first...just to name a few. Over at www.starwars.com they have set up a shot by shot guide to the differences between the 1977 original and the 2004 DVD. There are a lot of things I didn't really notice before, but will now.

    Monday, September 4

    Don't Hassel the Hoff

    Banksy messed with a bunch of Paris Hilton cds. "He replaced Hilton's CD with his own remixes and given them titles such as Why am I Famous?, What Have I Done? and What Am I For? He has also changed pictures of her on the CD sleeve to show the US socialite topless and with a dog's head." He would sneak into stores and change the cd, but leave the barcode so people could still purchase them. Pretty damn awesome. read here...
    There is a great essay over on Metaphilm about Calvin and Hobbes and Fight Club. It talks about how "Jack" in fight club is really just grown up Calvin and his imaginary friend has matured from a stuffed tiger into Tyler Durden. It's a fun read if you are a fan of both, which I am.


    In my jobless internet surfing I stubbled across a website called Twitch Guru. It has some great shit such as:
    Complete history in insight into the cult films The Warriors and Tron.
    A really cool look at the worst GCI in the last 20 years with sections like Bad CGI Orgies, Giant Leaps Backward, Why Didn't They Just Use Real Animals?, The Effects Were Great, Except..., and The Showstoppers.
    Most of the stuff is actually video game oriented, which is cool, but it's on a level that I will never reach.

    There is a awesome new trailer for Pan's Labyrinth here. I can not wait for this movie.

    Here are the two Enchantment Under the Sea Dance" scenes from both Back to the Future I and II synced up. Its fun to watch and see how well maintained continuity.

    The new Bruce Campbell movie My Name is Bruce sounds awesome. "Bruce Campbell (playing himself) is mistaken for his EVIL DEAD character, Ash, by the members of small Oregon town and is forced to fight a real monsters terrorizing the town's inhabitants." read more here...
    sidenote--that small Oregon town is where I'm from.

    Ok I'll stop now. I have way to much (clap, clap) time on my hands. I need a job. I will leave you with this...enjoy.




    Wednesday, August 30

    Ricky Gervais + Microsoft = Hilarious?

    Somebody else watch these two videos and tell me if they're worth sitting through the 20 minutes (each). It's Ricky Gervais playing his character from The Office in a faux-training video for Microsoft. I don't have the time. For proof, I'm only linking to these videos and not embedding them...yeah, I'm that lazy.

    I would have just sent you to YouTube, but they took them down due to "copyright infringement."

    Saturday, August 26

    Dear Diary, BRAINS...

    Romero just can't get enough of the zombies. They've had a night, a dawn, a day, and a land, and now we welcome the Diary of the Dead. Yes, that's right...the dead now have a diary. Scary, isn't it? There's no news on how the title actually plays into the movie, but I trust that Romero can get his shit together and make yet another fantastic movie about the flesh craving undead. But, seriously, I can just imagine some fantastic zombie voiceovers as the diaries are read:

    Dear Diary,
    UUuuuuunnnghhhhh...braaaaaains...

    Wednesday, August 23

    strippers in black

    Remember that last funeral you went to? Which stripper do you think was the best? Personally I liked Angel's poll work the best, but Porsche had nice eyes. What, strippers at funeral you must think I'm crazy. No, I'm not, but again the Chinese are (remember when they killed all their dogs?). Apparently in China the more people you have attend your funeral the more you are honored, so grieving relatives believed the best way to bring in a crowd was to hire strippers. According to this article "Wealthy families often employed two troupes of performers to attract a crowd". Five strippers have been attested and there is now a hotline where you can report "funeral misdeeds". One question...do you have to tip funeral strippers?

    Who?... Us?... Drunk?... No way!

    Forbes recently posted a report on the top 35 drunkest cities in the US, and wouldn't you know it, the Midwest has 5 cities in the top 7. Within the last couple of years Mpls/St. Paul has been racking up #1 awards for things like Most Fun City and Most Technologically Advanced but this time around we have to ride shoot-gun to the great city of Milwaukee. But that’s not all that surprising, after all this is about drinking, and Milwaukee is in Wisconsin. What is surprising to me is that Mpls/St. Paul took second. I mean we beat out places like Chitown(6), Seattle(12) and Vegas(14). The other surprise was that cities like New Orleans(24), NY(32) and Miami(33) all ranked pretty low.

    To save you the trouble of trying to figure out how all this works, and the hassle of flipping through the shitty slide show, below is a brief explanation of the criteria used to rank the cities and the order in which they ranked.

    State Laws: Cities were ranked on a scale of 1 to 8, based on the state laws affecting alcohol sales and consumption in the area, where a city ranked #1 has the least restrictive policies.

    Drinkers: Cities were ranked 1 to 35, based on the number of adults who reported having had at least one drink of alcohol within the past 30 days.

    Heavy Drinkers: Cities were ranked 1 to 35, based on the number of adult men who reported having had more than two drinks per day, and adult women having had more than one drink per day.

    Binge Drinkers: Cities were ranked 1 to 35, based on the number of adults who reported having had five or more drinks on one occasion.

    Alcoholism: Cities were ranked based on the number of Alcoholics Anonymous meetings held in the area, as a proportion of the number of residents over the legal drinking age. Higher-ranking cities reported more meetings per capita.

    Cities of Note:
    Milwaukee – SL: 4, D: 1, HD: 3, BD: 1, A: 3
    Minneapolis- SL: 7, D: 2, HD: 12, BD: 3, A: 4
    Boston – had a low score of 1 for State Laws.
    San Antonio – ranked number 1 in Heavy Drinkers.
    Kansas City – ranked number 1 in Alcoholism.
    Seattle – SL: 6, D: 5, HD: 18, BD: 21, A: 11
    Complete list:
    1. Milwaukee, WI
    2. Minneapolis/St. Paul, MN
    3. Columbus, OH
    4. Boston, MA
    5. Austin, TX
    6. Chicago, IL
    7. Cleveland, OH
    8. Pittsburgh, PA
    9. Philadelphia, PA
    10. Providence, RI
    11. St. Louis, MO
    12. San Antonio, TX
    12. Seattle, WA
    14. Las Vegas, NV
    15. Denver/Boulder, CO
    16. Cincinnati, OH
    16. Kansas City, MO
    18. Houston, TX
    19. Portland, OR
    20. San Francisco/Oakland, CA
    21. Washington/Baltimore, MD
    22. Phoenix, AZ
    23. Los Angeles, CA
    24. New Orleans, LA
    24. Tampa, FL
    26. Norfolk, VA
    27. Dallas/Fort Worth, TX
    28. Atlanta, GA
    28. Detroit, MI
    30. Indianapolis, IN
    31. Orlando, FL
    32. New York, NY
    33. Miami, FL
    34. Charlotte, NC
    35. Nashville, TN

    Tuesday, August 22

    Kill 'em all

    You know how 90% of historical movies are complete bullshit. Well finally someone grew a pair a took responsibility for their actions. David Ayer, who wrote the 2000 movie U-571, apologized for being a bitch. He said "It was a distortion... a mercenary decision to create this parallel history in order to drive the movie for an American audience". Turns out he had the Americans do something the British really did or whatever, I couldn't care less. The point is we should make everybody who has distorted history to sell something apologize and be publicly humiliated- unless whatever they made was better than the actually history, such as History of the World Part 1, Life of Brian, or the upcoming Frank Miller film 300- Anyway go watch the trailer for Bug.

    Monday, August 14

    scream

    Do you remember when the Stormtrooper falls in A New Hope and screams? Of course you do. If you are like me that scream has reminded you of tons of other screams in other movies. Well I found out today that it is actually the exact same scream. It seams that the scream was recorded in 1951 for the movie Distant Drums. It became known as the "Wilhelm Scream". It became a sound-man inside joke and has been used in some 150ish movies including, but not limited to: Swiss Family Robinson, Mad Max, Star Wars, all 3 Lord of the Rings, all 3 Indiana Jones, Willow, Swamp Thing, Aladdin, Batman Returns, Broken Arrow, The Fifth Element, A Goofy Movie, Reservoir Dogs, Family Guy(TV), Hellboy, Kill Bill 1, Anchorman, Sin City and many many more. See full list and read more here...

    I thought this was pretty cool. Make sure to watch VotW.

    Speaking of screaming here is the ad for the new supersoaker. What "comes" to mind?

    Friday, August 11

    Dumbass makes Illinois pay

    Taxpayers in the state of Illinois are now fronting the bill ($510,528.64 to be exact) for a dumbass (Gov. Rod Blagojevich) who wanted to regulate the sale of "violent" videogames. The bill, rightfully so, was turned down and deemed unconstitutional. Ign explains the bill thusly:

    The Safe Games Illinois Act would have required retailers to use warning labels in addition to the existing Entertainment Software Ratings Board labels. It also would have forced retailers to post signs within stores explaining the ESRB rating system.
    When will these people learn that violent society existed before videogames? I mean, sure, the Inquisition can be blamed on Grand Theft Auto, but the Crusades? Seriously, that was all because of violent movies.

    Thursday, August 10

    P.K.Dick

    Wow, Philip K Dick is everywhere these days...or it seems that way. A Scanner Darkly and Southland Tales are both Dick based. I also, on my way out west, had Paul Giamatti read A Scanner Darkly to me (which was awesome) and I also just read Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? (I liked it...thanks Dan.), which Blade Runner was based on. Now it looks like the next Gilliam film is going to be "blending a biopic of Phillip K. Dick with an adaptation of his last, unfinished work". It is going to be called The Owl in the Daylight.

    Film Ick aslo says this about his future work "As for all of the other next Terry Gilliam films, it seems that funding for both Good Omens and Anything For Billy is provisional, and that circumstances, sadly cannot provide the necessary; The Man Who Killed Don Quixote is at arm's length, though likely to go into production for Jeremy Thomas later in 2007; The Defective Detective is getting a rewrite, to distance it from Tideland, by Fisher King writer Richard LaGravenese." more here...

    Thats all I know for now...

    Must see trailers

    If you're like me, then you probably sit at home on the Internets, watching every film trailer that has been released to the public. If you're not like me, here's a list of trailers you need to watch:

    The Departed: New flick by our pal Martin Scorsese. I was apprehensive about what crazy Scorsese was up to now, but after viewing this, I think that he may be officially "back." (Not to mention that Jack Nicholson is just so damn cool.)

    The Fountain: Darren Aronofsky hasn't done anything since Requiem for a Dream, and this certainly looks more epic than his previous two films, but dear god, it just...looks...well, go watch the trailer.

    The Science of Sleep: Judging from this trailer, it's apparent to me that Michel Gondry doesn't actually need Charlie Kaufman to make a bizarre, fascinating movie. This is definitely on my "most excited to see" list.

    The Prestige: Christopher Nolan's idea of dueling magicians, not to be confused with The Illusionist, which looks like the same thing but worse.

    Riding Alone for Thousands of Miles: Zhang Yimou returning to his roots (i.e., not Hero or House of Flying Daggers) for a slowly paced drama. Definitely not to everybody's liking, but definitely to mine.

    Children of Men: Sam mentioned this the comments not too long ago, but I thought I'd put it up on the front page. As he said, "It looks like it might be cool...fun idea anyway." I actually couldn't think of a better way to describe it.

    Babel: From the director of Amores Perros and 21 Grams. It seems that he's up to the same old "one thing affects everything" theories, but that never stopped Tom Tykwer, so why should it stop him?

    Hollywoodland:From first time silver screen director Allen Coulter. His previous work has included HBO hits Sopranos, Six Feet Under, Sex and the City and Rome. This could work out well for him seeing that it is a movie based on the death of TV Superman star George Reeves.

    Beerfest: From the guys that brought us Super Troopers comes a movie about drinking lots of beer and acting like idiots. In other words, its the perfect movie for us guys that run this blog. Also I am really hoping that they were actually drunk for most of the shooting of this film.

    Renaissance: I don't really know what to say about this one. It looks really well done, and could easily be a great movie. At the same time it could easily be a re-working of a bunch of other films that have come out lately.

    And if you haven't seen trailers for The Transformers, TMNT, Marie Antoinette, Fearless, or Spider-Man III you're probably dead or don't care as much as I do, which means you may as well be dead.

    Wednesday, August 9

    Dieter needs to fly

    This year at the Toronto International Film Festival they will be featuring Herzog's Rescue Dawn (which I can't wait for) and Hal Hartley's Fay Grim-the follow up to Henry Fool (which I'm sure Dan can't wait for). Now how long is it going to be till us average folk get to see these movies? I hope soon. Read here...

    You're a non-restrictive clause

    Neil Gaiman linked to this article, but I feel the need to reiterate it here. This is for all of you (*cough*...*cough*...Sam) that make fun of me for actually knowing how to use the English language. A misused comma is forcing Rogers Communications Inc. to pay $2.13 million more than the company had expected. It all comes from this sentence:

    The agreement “shall continue in force for a period of five years from the date it is made, and thereafter for successive five year terms, unless and until terminated by one year prior notice in writing by either party.”
    If you haven't figured it out, the second comma turns the phrase, "and thereafter for successive five year terms" into a non-restrictive clause, thus rendering it a non-essential part of the sentence. In grammatical rules, the phrase could be eliminated without change to the sentence, essentially making it read:

    The agreement “shall continue in force for a period of five years from the date it is made, unless and until terminated by one year prior notice in writing by either party.”
    Whoops. The company with whom Rogers had a contract (Aliant Inc.) discovered this grammatical blunder and is working to exploit it to bail on the contract earlier than Rogers thought they had agreed upon.

    And while I almost feel bad for Rogers, kudos to the lawyer of Aliant that discovered the mistake and pursued its exploitation. It really can pay to be a geek.

    Tuesday, August 8

    YOU need this

    Have you ever drank a little to much (I personally don't believe there is such a thing) and drunk dialed someone you shouldn't have...maybe an ex, or parent or friend at bar close on a tuesday when you are unemployed and they are not and didn't remember there was a time change? Have you ever driven just over the limit...say a .10 and thought you were fine, but ended up getting busted? Don't you wish there was something to stop all this? Well now there is. LG has created the LP4100- a phone with a built in breathalyzer. You can use it as just a plain old breathalyzer or you can program it to not let you call certain numbers in your phone book after you have reached a predetermined level of intoxication. This is an advancement in phone technology I did not see coming, but I like it. I never drunk dial or drive after drinking or anything like that, but it might be fun to be out and see who could blow the highest. What will they think of next? Article here...

    Saturday, August 5

    668

    It looks like the next movie Gilliam is going to make will be Good Omens. I hope this time things work out I would bet on something going wrong. Read here.
    It might start filming this winter which means that Depp wont be able to be in it (he's busy I guess), which would be to bad. Robin Williams and Johnny Depp as Aziraphale and Crowley would kick ass. Read here.

    Here are little sections from Neils last few posts on his blog.
    8-1 "...and I'm off working with a friend on a project we've tried to get off the ground since 1998, and he's busy and I'm busy, but this week it's happening, or at least starting. And I'm being much too secretive about it right now, but one day, or at least when it's a bit further along, I won't be. (And I'm pretty sure I've talked about it somewhere on this blog already.)"

    8-2 "The Mystery Project is going just fine, thank you."

    8-4 "The work goes well. I'm enjoying it. At the end of yesterday we realised that after three days of reading and scribbling we had actually done some work, and that this was good. Now comes the hard bit of writing together and seeing what happens. Wish me luck."

    ...Good Omens II?

    Friday, August 4

    why isn't it americas past time?

    Chinese county clubs to death 50,000 dogs.
    "Dogs being walked were seized from their owners and beaten to death on the spot."
    "Owners were offered 63 cents per animal to kill their own dogs before the teams were sent in"
    "killing teams entered villages at night creating noise to get dogs barking, then beat the animals to death"

    Pictures and rest of article here.


    Wednesday, August 2

    why is it americas past time?

    I think this might be why...

    Monday, July 31

    E3 to be "intimate"

    Rumors that E3 (the big, annual videogame expo) would be no more were flying around the internets all day today. And, now, it's been confirmed that E3 is being put to sleep. Well...put to sleep as a giant money-devouring lights & laser show. It will be revived next year as a more "intimate" affair, "hosting press events and small meetings with media, retailers, and developers."

    So, who cares? Well, not me. I'll still get the same videogame information and news out of E3 (or whatever they'll call it) next year as I did this year. So, who loses? People who weren't actual journalists or industry insiders that managed to score passes to the show only to play the videogames and never actually write anything about them or contribute to the overall buzz that press conferences are meant to create.

    Geek out.

    New GH2 tracks

    Ign's got the scoop on the 11 official tracks to be featured in Guitar Hero II. Of course, there will be many, many more, but here's what we're looking at right now:

    • Reverend Horton Heat: "Psychobilly Freakout"
    • KISS: "Strutter"
    • Black Sabbath: "War Pigs"
    • Butthole Surfers: "Who Was in My Room Last Night?"
    • Van Halen: "You Really Got Me"
    • Rush: "YYZ"
    • Primus: "John the Fisherman"
    • Drist: "Arterial Black"
    • Stone Temple Pilots: "Trippin' on a Hole in a Paper Heart"
    • Anthrax: "Madhouse"
    • Motley Crue: "Shout at the Devil"
    There was a rumor that "The New Black" by Every Time I Die would be included in GH2, but nothing official has confirmed that. We can only hope.

    Tuesday, July 25

    You've got the touch...

    Ken Jennings makes fun of Jeopardy and Alex on his blog. Here is the story. Pretty funny.

    Looks like the did get Peter Cullen to be the voice of Optimus Prime in the new Transformers. He was Prime's voice in the TV show and old movie (which I just watched this morning).

    Tarantino's part of Grind House is called Death Proof and the villain will be Kurt Russell. more...

    lots of stuff going down at the comic-con.

    Monday, July 24

    Against the Day

    Thomas Pynchon has a new novel coming out December 5 of this year. Despite the fact that amazon.com lists it as untitled, The Modern Word has said it is titled Against the Day. He wrote his own book description, and here it is:

    Spanning the period between the Chicago World's Fair of 1893 and the years just after World War I, this novel moves from the labor troubles in Colorado to turn-of-the-century New York, to London and Gottingen, Venice and Vienna, the Balkans, Central Asia, Siberia at the time of the mysterious Tunguska Event, Mexico during the Revolution, postwar Paris, silent-era Hollywood, and one or two places not strictly speaking on the map at all.

    With a worldwide disaster looming just a few years ahead, it is a time of unrestrained corporate greed, false religiosity, moronic fecklessness, and evil intent in high places. No reference to the present day is intended or should be inferred.

    The sizable cast of characters includes anarchists, balloonists, gamblers, corporate tycoons, drug enthusiasts, innocents and decadents, mathematicians, mad scientists, shamans, psychics, and stage magicians, spies, detectives, adventuresses, and hired guns. There are cameo appearances by Nikola Tesla, Bela Lugosi, and Groucho Marx.

    As an era of certainty comes crashing down around their ears and an unpredictable future commences, these folks are mostly just trying to pursue their lives. Sometimes they manage to catch up; sometimes it's their lives that pursue them.

    Meanwhile, the author is up to his usual business. Characters stop what they're doing to sing what are for the most part stupid songs. Strange sexual practices take place. Obscure languages are spoken, not always idiomatically. Contrary-to-the-fact occurrences occur. If it is not the world, it is what the world might be with a minor adjustment or two. According to some, this is one of the main purposes of fiction.

    Let the reader decide, let the reader beware. Good luck.

    Friday, July 21

    Gaiman's offspring

    Over at Ain't It Cool there is part one of two of a walkthrough of the Stardust set. From everything I have read about this movie it is going to kick ass.

    Also Gaimans son Mike has created a site where you ask the internet questions...well you ask the people on the internet questions anyway. It's a pretty cool idea and could be big if people start using it. Right now its just in the beta version. deatinter.net

    The Neil Gaiman tribute cd came out this week. Where's Neil When You Need Him? has 17 songs by various artists singing about Neil's work. I haven't found it yet but have heard a few of the songs. Most of the songs are about Sandman so you bitches that have yet to read it need to get on the ball.

    The San Diego Comic Con is going on now and I'm sure we'll get a bunch a great comic/movie news from it...like maybe the Stardust clip they are going to show. If anyone finds it let me know. IGN keeps up on stuff here.

    Friday, July 14

    B[ow]log-Medford, OR

    I took the old man bowling this after noon. It has been a month and 3 days since I last rolled so needless to say I was going through withdrawals. I thought I was be rusty but I ended up doing fairly well...180,183 and a weak 166. Still was a 176 average. 3 turkeys and a quad. I need to get on a league out here.

    Have any of the other Bitches been bowling?

    Tuesday, July 11

    eye of the tiger

    I just found the new Rocky trailer here.

    The new Butch Walker came out today. I havn't got it yet but I will write up a short review when I do.

    I did get the new Cash and I have only listened to it once, but so far its awesome...of course.

    Heres a short review of the new Pirates- It sucked. I was disappointed. It did have some awesome parts, but as a whole it just felt like nobody put much effort into it because they new that they could just live off the success of the first one. I would say rent it or go see it in the cheep theater.

    It may be a little early to start thinking about the next election, but Doug Stanhope has my vote. Website here.
    "Stanhope in 08 - Drunk with Power"

    I am going down to see my Dad in Oregon tomorrow, so I will have a lot more time to sit on my ass and post...till then bitches.

    Thursday, June 29

    A night of food and comedy

    Last night marked my first of many times that I will be going to the Acme Comedy Club. They have this deal where if it's your birthday month, you can get free tickets for a Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday show. Being that it was Kate's birthday in June, we surveyed their calendar and thought, hey, we've seen this Bil Dwyer guy on Last Comic Standing, he's decently funny. If nothing else, we're not losing any cash and we can see if it's worth going to in the future.

    Before the show, we hit up Sticks, the restaurant connected (and within) Acme. A bit pricey ($15-$25 for an entree or pasta dish), but well worth it. We then headed into the venue. The seating is assigned, but there isn't a bad seat in the joint. They've got tables set up and waiters that wander throughout the night, bringing you more beer (no alcohol is probably one of the biggest downfalls of all the larger shows I've been to at the Fitzgerald or the Orpheum).

    I'd delve into the entire show, but I don't remember the opener/MC's name despite the fact that he had some great bits. They're having an amateur comedy competition in which three people do three minutes of comedy to see if they can progress to the next round. One was incredibly not funny, and two were trying to be Dane Cook and were sort of funny. But they don't really matter.

    Jackie Kashian did the next set. At first, I didn't think she was that funny, but I was proved wrong as the night went on and became increasingly more angry and geeky. It's hard for me to review her (or any comedian for that matter), so I'll just say that it was pretty damn hilarious and worth checking out.

    Bil Dwyer was great. I've seen him only on Last Comic Standing, and he's a lot more tame on TV than he is in real life. No, it wasn't revolutionary comedy like Hedberg, Hicks, etc., but it was funny, really funny. He did a lot of quick bits with unexpected/clever endings, but more than one-liners. The show was congruent and flowed really well from one subject to the next. His stage presence is great, and his set was simply a good time overall.

    In future comedy news: both Josh Blue and Doug Benson will be coming to Acme (in August and September, respectively). We already bought the dinner & a show package to Blue's show, and anyone interested in comedy at all probably should as well. (He's the extremely funny one on Last Comic Standing with cerebral palsy, by the way.)

    Wednesday, June 28

    Superman Returns

    Any one besides me seen this yet? I realize that it just came out today (unless you are a geek like me and went and saw the 10:00 show last night). Anyway, go see this movie. But before you do that you need to go through Brians check list of needs for seeing Superman Returns.

    1. See Superman I
    2. See Superman II
    3. DO NOT see Superman III or IV (Superman Returns is the new III).
    3. Don't be one of those douches that thinks superman isn't interesting.

    Ok now that you have done those 4 things you are all set to see Superman Returns.

    Some things to look for:
    - Brandon Routh - ok, he looks a little young but he does a great job at taking over both Clark and Superman.
    - Kevin Spacey - Amazing. Up there in top bad guy area. Has a little more of a new era evil to him, but still has some of that great 70's silliness.
    - Parker Posey - not only can she keep up with Spacey and Superman, she just might steal a scene or two.
    - And don't forget to catch the return of Marlon Brando as Jor-El, fantastic.
    - Little things giving a shout out to I & II during the movie.
    - The opening credits, Original John Williams opening music, with slightly updated credit text.
    - And for the lucky ones you get to see the new Spiderman III trailer, and you will crap your pants with excitement.

    For a great review of this movie go to IGN

    Tuesday, June 27

    true guitar heros

    So I could wait for next week to put this up as the V of the W but I just can't wait that long.
    Enjoy.



    DragonForce - Through the Wire

    R.I.P. Eddie

    The dog that played Eddie on the show Frasier has died. The dog, Moose, was 16 years old. Apparently, he retired from acting when he was 10 and his son, Enzo, took over for him. He wrote an autobiography, co-written by Brian Hargrove. All I can think is, wow, that is one talented dog...he can act and he can manage to get a ghost-writer for his autobiography. Truly Hollywood.

    Friday, June 23

    In this corner...Uwe Boll...

    I had read about this a while ago on IGN, but I'm too damn lazy to find the link again. Apparently, Uwe Boll is challenging critics of his movie to a fight...literally. He wants them to get into the boxing ring with him and duke it out. He's going to film it and then insert it into his new movie, Postal. It makes sense to me. Seeing as the guy can't use his brain or articulate anything clearly, he resorts to violence, which I find to be strange, fantastic, and horrifying all at the same time.

    Thursday, June 22

    Say cheese for your statue, Gromit

    The iconic stop-motion animated Wallace & Gromit are getting a statue in their birthplace, Bristol. I think this is a fantastic idea. I love walking around St. Paul and seeing all the different Peanut characters immortilized throughout the city. For some reason, I find the idea of lovable and familiar cartoon characters on the same level as Joyce, Wilde, and others carved into form oddly comforting. I do, however, think it would be amusing if, say, 1000 years from now, when humanity has been destroyed and some other species of life roams the earth, they think our heroes were a flaming Irishman, a bald-, spherical-headed young boy with a wisp of hair, a beagle, a cheese-loving Englishman, and a silent, but brilliant, dog.

    Wednesday, June 21

    Seven Samurai Heaven

    This is why I waited to buy Seven Samurai. I realize some may think I'm lying when I say that Kurosawa is my favorite director, and that I actually enjoy sitting through 3 and a half hour long epics about samurai and feudal Japan, but I love, love, love it. I'm just hoping they do something to the Kurosawa samurai box set so that I can buy the others in one spot.

    So, the big news? Criterion is now releasing a 3-disc special edition of Seven Samurai on September 5. Here's the details:

    • All-new, restored high-definition digital transfer
    • Two audio commentaries: one by film scholars David Desser, Joan Mellen, Stephen Prince, Tony Rayns, and Donald Richie; the other by Japanese-film expert Michael Jeck
    • A 50-minute documentary on the making of Seven Samurai, part of the Toho Masterworks series Akira Kurosawa: It Is Wonderful to Create
    • My Life in Cinema, a two-hour video conversation between Akira Kurosawa and Nagisa Oshima produced by the Directors Guild of Japan
    • Seven Samurai: Origins and Influences, a new documentary looking at the samurai traditions and films that impacted Kurosawa's masterpiece
    • Theatrical trailers and teaser
    • Gallery of rare posters and behind-the scenes and production stills
    • New and improved English subtitle translation
    • PLUS: A booklet featuring essays by Peter Cowie, Philip Kemp, Peggy Chiao, Alain Silver, Kenneth Turan, Stuart Galbraith, Arthur Penn, and Sidney Lumet and an interview with Toshiro Mifune
    • More!