A big win for Sebulski

Well, Seivy Sebuskli has done something it has never done before: beat our competition across all three games, both by scratch scores and handicap scores. This will most definitely pull us out of last place and put us in ninth. We’re staging a comeback, a glorious, unlikely comeback.

I can’t take too much credit for the wins. I managed a 130, a 145, and finished with a 120. But, all things considered, that’s better than I’ve been playing lately. Sam was the big winner (again). In the first game, I was still beating him in the 5th frame. Suddenly, out of nowhere, he lands five strikes in a row, boosting his score to a 180. Ciggy, thinking he’s got the game in the bag, falls behind Sam by three pins, ending with a 177. Sam won himself a shot of Wild Turkey whiskey from the team next to us. Sam continues to get drunk. For the second game, Sam dropped to a 150, and, again, thinking he’s got this game, Ciggy fails to beat Sam by two pins: a 148. Third game, we were all over the place. Sam got a 142 and Cigs got a 134.

The guys next to us were awesome. They drank a lot and they sucked even more, which allowed us to pull off our wins. They tried to get us drunk by buying a shot for whoever got a turkey, but Sam was the only one to do that.

Key moment: one of the guys in the league bowled a 278 in the third game. Un-fucking-believable.

America's Next Top Elf/Lesbian/Alcoholic

America’s Next Top Model is getting closer and closer to the finish line as only six girls are still “in the running to become America’s next top model.” I’m surprised to see who’s left. Well, not surprised about everyone. I’m shocked that Nik is still in it. As Sam said, “She’s not a good model at all and looks like she fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.” It’s true. I’m also shocked that Kim (the androgynous lesbian) is still on the show. I like Kim, don’t get me wrong … she has potential to look great, but every so often, she just looks like a little awkward teenage boy. I thought she was getting kicked off on the first episode. God do I suck at predicting this stuff.

So what’s going on in the show, you ask? Well, the tension between Lisa and Coryn (Minneapolis’ own, I’m afraid to say) ended when Coryn got kicked off last week. There’s still a lot of tension between Jayla (who’s awesome) and Nik (see paragraph above) because Jayla “stole” one of Nik’s lines when they were shooting a fake TV commercial. Unfortunately, this week’s episode didn’t really expound on that, but I expect it all to go down in the next few.

Other things that happened: The girls dressed up like pin-up girls. I don’t know who the writers/producers of this show are, but that’s just brilliant. Jayla was the only one to actually wear something sexy when they were asked to come up with their idea of sexy in three minutes. Kim’s friend Kyle got kicked off last night. Why her? Why her and not Nik? One of the judges is a moron. And finally, Lisa's an alcoholic.

Key moment: When the judges asked Kim how she’s working on becoming more feminine, she responded, “I don’t know, dating boys?”

Predictions: Jayla, Kim, and Lisa will be the final three.

I can get behind that

Boston Legal was good as usual tonight. It was a little bit more serious than it normally is. I can’t believe they fired the old lady just because she killed that guy…dumb. It’s awesome Shatner and Spader being accused of sexual harassment. Many funny situations.

Highlights-
Spader going off in the middle of a nice restaurant about the terrors of farmed salmon.
Shatner in reference to his sexual comment being “the straw that broke the camels back” says “I haven’t had sex with a camel since I was in the army and as far as I know the camel didn’t complain”

If your not watching this show yet get on it.

I cought the end of My Name is Earl. It was a good last 10 minutes. He was trying to make a gay guy that he used to make fun of feel good about himself. Seems like it is going to be a solid show.

Highlights-
Earl “Why don’t you just go to one of those queer bars…oh I’m sorry homosexual American bars.”

Last night was the first night that I really watched Americas Next Top Model this session. It’s pretty good. My favorite is Jayla she’s is super cute. I like Kyle to, but her shoulders are kind of broad. Lisa is a bitch…well they are all bitches, except Jayla. That’s even a hot name…if I have a daughter I’m going to name her Jayla. I can’t believe Nik is still on. She’s not a good model at all and looks like she fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down. They should have given her the boot. Anyway the show is worth watching for Jayla.

304

I never got around to doing my review of The OC 304, and to get you guys back in the mood before it comes back on Nov 3 here it is.

Marissa has her first day at Newport Union (Orange counties answer to public education). It does have a big parking lot and a good breeze so its not all bad. Yet life isn’t so easy for her there. Big surprise everyone already knows about her shooting Trey in the back. She runs into the bully bitches (who you can recognize by the black T-shirt and blue jeans, the mark of a true bad ass) and is saved by bazaro Summer (Casey), who is going out with bazaro Ryan (Johnny), who is friends with bazaro Seth (Denis)…weird. It’s basically the low-class versions of the crew, but not nearly as cool. Casey is pretty cute and Johnny seems nice. Denis is just annoying so far, he’s basically what Seth would be if he was 14, outgoing, poor, and not as sexy. She ends up ditching Ryan for them a few times. She tells him she is going to stay home and study and then ends up going to the Newport Union dance (which is unthemed by the way) with the bazaro kids. Believe it or not Ryan gets defensive and mad. He ends up going to the dance to see her, but she is happy so he leaves with Seth (who showed up to stop him, I’ll get to that later). Marisa ends up back at the pool house and they have their own little “dance”, no really they just danced…this time.
Ryan has a tooter (who taught Stallone’s kids). He doesn’t really do too much this episode. He just basically deals with Marisa and her public school friends. I would guess in the next few weeks he will be punching someone, it’s been to long. He is kind of turning into a romantic pussy, he needs to remember his criminal Chino roots.
Sandy and Kirsten are doing well for the most part. It’s so nice to have her home. Kirsten is starting to learn how to cook, which makes us all a little nervous. She really lets the rest of her dad go by selling off the Newport Group. It’s pretty hard on her, but she ends up selling it in the end anyway, which also means that Julie doesn’t have a job. I am really going to miss the office. A lot of big stuff went on there, like Julie getting a job there and remodeling it, starting the magazine, working with Carter, and dealing with Caleb everyday (Fuck I miss him too).
Charlotte is still a huge bitch. She is trying to get the Cohen’s money by suckering Kirsten into her schemes. God I hate her.
Julie still has no money and is getting kicked out of Caleb’s house. She doesn’t know what she is going to do, and I don’t either. Right now she is living in a motel, poor girl…she can crash at my place.
And my loves Seth and Summer are better than ever. I think they do better as a couple when they have a common enemy to fight, like Dean Hess and Bitch Taylor. Taylor pretends to be Summers friend and then tells her that the Dean is going to suspend Seth unless he finds out who was Seth’s sick kick in the whole hut kidnapping thing. So Summer turns herself in…guess what he wasn’t going to suspend Seth. So that means that Summer can’t be social chair and the position goes to Taylor…Fucking Bitch. Summer worked really hard to keep Marisa’s spirit alive. So Summer confronts Taylor and declares war, kick her ass Summer. Seth and Ryan have a good old-fashioned talk in the pool house…good stuff. Seth and Summer go to the dance, that Summer organized and that skank/slut/whore Taylor takes credit for. Summer did set up the best dance ever, it was the ocean in the gym…damn cool. Seth runs off to save Ryan from doing something dumb at the public school dance, and Summer gets the upper end in the war. She sees Taylor and Hess going at it in the back room…oh fuck yeah now who’s in trouble bitch.

Highlights—
-Really good ending scene doing the OC thing where they go over all the characters
-It’s one of my favorite Summer episodes…I want to have her babies
-Kirsten going to take a shower and saying to Sandy “You don’t look to clean yourself.”
-Seth saying to Ryan “Man you home school kids are pathetic.”

More monday TV

I was going to review Prison Break but Dan got to it so here's whats left

I caught a little bit of Las Vegas during the Prison Break commercials and it seemed good. Danny’s girl tried to con him out of a bunch of money, but him being the stud he is caught her. It ended with Ed quitting his job at the casino. I’m sure he’ll be back, if the show got rid of Ed it would be a huge mistake. Oh yeah there was also hot chicks and gambling.

Nick Cage was on Letterman and he has a creepy 70’s rapist mustache. He does have a new baby and he said he named it Kalel...thats pretty damn cool. I want to go see the Weather Man

In other news Rosa Parks wont stand up, again...

I win

Sam had the high game of 185. He also won 6 out of 8 games and picked up a 7/9 split. Ciggy won one game and C. Christ also won a game. Drunken assholes next to us were annoying as hell (I think they were cheering for us). We had a lot of close games. Good competition over all. I hope we can bowl as good on Thursday, we just have to drink our 4 pitchers beforehand...thats what it takes for dan to remember how to bowl.

Prison Break is back

Baseball is finally in the last few games of the season, and Fox has widened its lineup for this week. This means, yes, I got to watch me some TV last night. Prison Break is back. And while I wasn’t sure how long they could keep up this plot, I was informed via a “behind the scenes” on Sunday night that the writers have already written out episodes through the second season. So, is that good?

Yes … yes it is. I was strangely excited to see another episode. The tension is still there. Everything that could go wrong still does, and yet somehow it looks as if the plan to break out is going to happen. Who has to die to get there? Hard to say. They’ve already started killing off characters. Lincoln’s ex-wife and her husband, for example, were shot by the Men in Black Suits who Wear Sunglasses All the Time in an attempt to get Lincoln to call off the investigation into his set up. His son is now a fugitive, as they have planted his fingerprints on the murder weapon. His ex-girlfriend/lawyer were almost blown up. Lots of action ensues. So, as I mull it over, attempting to figure out “Who’s next?,” I’ll just have to wait. It could be anybody.

Key moment: the bastard Captain killing the nice old man’s cat and, in retaliation, he uses one of the Captain’s cigarettes to start a fire in a key location.

The Brief and Frightening Reign of Phil

Sure, I picked up the book because it had a blurb by Thomas Pynchon on the back and the cover art was sleek and sexy, but The Brief and Frightening Reign of Phil by George Saunders is one of the best, funniest novellas I’ve read in a long time. Coming in at a whopping 130 small pages, filled with illustrations, it’s a quick, poignant story about the absurdity of borders, national policy, power, and justice.

Outer Horner is a vast, proud land, and within that land lies the region of Inner Horner. Inner Horner is so small that only one member of its nation can fit inside of its border at a time, while the rest of the nation waits in the Short Term Residency Zone. Then Inner Horner, for geological reasons, shrinks, forcing an Inner Hornerite to inadvertently invade Outer Horner.

Enter Phil, an angry, power-driven figure who decides that he ought to tax the Inner Hornerites to stay in their land because they cannot fit into their own. The story escalates as Phil gains followers, and soon the Inner Hornerites are a poverty-stricken, oppressed people with no options.

Everything about the book is funny: from the hilarious dialogue, the ease with which people follow Phil and his seemingly logical sense of events to the “people” themselves (it really is hard to tell if they’re robots, insects, or just incomprehensible creatures). It’s a direct bash of the structure of nations, how certain policies are abused, and the way in which the policies are created. At one point, Phil tells the president about a new policy that he has supposedly instigated. To find out if he had (he is rather old and forgetful), he and the advisors poll the people (five of them) to see if they’re in support of this new policy. When it turns out that they are, they decide that, of course, he did impose this policy a long time ago and people love it.

For anyone who likes humor and/or a good satire, I cannot help but to unequivocally recommend this book. The only reason I don’t give this a perfect 200 proof is because it costs $9, and it only took me 3 or 4 hours to read.

So, The Brief and Frightening Reign of Phil: 180 proof.

Mirrormask

Being a long-time fan of Neil Gaiman’s writing and Dave McKean’s artwork, I’ve been anticipating Mirrormask for the past few years. And yesterday, finally, I saw it. It’s a difficult movie to review. For one, the acting is terrible, the first twenty minutes that don’t involve McKean’s amazing special effects are rather drab and remind me of something you’d catch on BBC late at night, and the soundtrack just has a bit too much saxophone (and by that I mean a lot of saxophone). Yet, I loved it.

The basic story is rather typical. A girl (Helena) falls asleep and has a fantastic dream that may or may not affect real life, but she’s determined to follow it through to the end in the hope that it will, somehow, change her real life. Many life lessons ensue. Sounds lame, but it’s not. The series of events that Helena encounters is so bizarre, so original, you keep asking yourself, “How did they come up with that?” And while you can predict the general flow of events, you can never prepare yourself for a sequence involving giant bird type things carrying Helena and guide Valentine through a jungle-gym structure while being chased by evil shadow blobs. Nor can you really picture what it’s like to see your world being crumbled up like a piece of paper.

The visuals are the most impressive I’ve seen in any movie ever. Stylistic, dark, and just goddamn cool, they’re worth the $8 alone. Hopefully, this movie will put McKean on the map a bit more, so he can get larger budgets, hire some real actors, and pay someone to make a decent soundtrack, and then he can fill it with the world that, I’m sure, only resides in his head.

Mirrormask: 120 proof

I still hate baseball

Because of baseball there is still a lot less good TV on, so here's a review of last night....

What a waist of an hour. Surface is one of the worst shows I have seen in a while. It is like a really bad sci-fi movie, but not cool at all. The characters are awful, the only reason I watch is to see them die, which wouldn't even be that cool because they don't like to put time or effort into any of their special effects. Don't waste your time with this show. If you want to see shitty sci-fi/horror go get Infested or Legion of Fire: Killer Ants!
Surface gets a 3.2


At least Las Vegas is still a good show. It maybe that I just love the town, but I have always enjoyed this show. Ed Deline (James Caan) kicks ass, a very cool old mobster. Danny McCoy is also pretty damn cool. It also helps that there is a plethora of fine ladies. Last night Ed did mob stuff, Mike took a girl out in Ed's car and the bitch stole it, Sam's brother came into town, and people gambled. Over all it was fun. I don't think this session is as good as last, but still worth checking out.
I give Las Vegas a nice dry Syrah, so a good 13%

A time to roll

Ok quick bowling recap. Last Thursday Dan had the high game of 174 and we all had between a 130 and 140ish average. Not to good, but we were bowling against one of the most amazing old guys ever. If I can get my throw to look half as good I'll be happy.
Sunday practice was fun. Ciggy had the high of 184. We had a lot of close games. Team Dan/Sam beat team Cigs/C. Christ by 5 pins and the next game C/C.C beat D/S by 4 pins. Oh and then Dan got drunk and forgot how to bowl.

Interesting facts--
1-Dan bowled the turkey
2-If your cool you have a 28 in the 2nd
3-C. Christ has a temper and doesn't really even taste that good
4-weird ugly guy and little hot chick are siblings
5-we are now friends with weird ugly guy
6-I am a leaf on the wind

woman prez?

I only caught a little bit of TV last night-

I just saw the last 10 minutes of Commander In Chief. I won't go into all the political shit. If you want that go here. It looks like it is trying to be a West Wing for moms. It really seemed to play up the relationship with her daughter and make the issue of what school she went to as important as running the country. It goes through all that "oh my god, a woman president". Who cares? We all know it would never really happen. I can't even give Commander and Chief a rating...well I guess its like if you were to get really wasted one night and in the morning you piss in a glass and drink it. Whatever proof that is that's the score it gets.

My goal of even turning on the was Boston Legal. Last night was awesome. Spader and Shatner are always amazing. The highlight is when Shatner takes Spader fishing in British Columbia and Shatner gets mad because hes not catching anything so he grabs a shotgun and shoots the head off a fish. The funny old lady killed the little old crazy man that she was kind of dating. She was scared that he might kill again. She tried to turn him to god and that didn't work so she beat him with a skillet and put him in the freezer. I still love this show. There were some slow spots and for that I will only give Boston Legal a shot of 80 proof soco, and for the weak parts I have to withhold the lime.

This one's for all the cabbage

Well as many of you know last year me and Dan lived together in the good old 3A. We would drink every night and watch movies and play video games…Hot Shots Golf 3 for the most part. Well that era has ended and Dan is now sober more than not (much to his disappointment I’m sure). But fear not I am still keeping the dream alive, but we must let some of the past go and I care about our friends Phillip, Jamie, and Hamm to much to say good-bye. You may wonder where this is going, and I’m not so sure myself…Oh yeah. Yesterday I was in the new huge Target and I saw Hot Shots Golf Fore! for $19.99. I thought “hey, what the hell, why not”. It was a bit weird playing it by myself and sober, one of those problems was son taken care of. The game is good, some of the same courses and a lot of new ones, new cool characters, and mini-golf, which is a shit-load of fun. I have only played it alone so I will have to test out the “party factor” tonight (come if you want—10ish).
-Hey Dan this is our new rating system---

Hot Shots Golf Fore! = 80 proof

Insert Clever Title

So goddamn busy. Hence, the lack of posts. Also, I’m getting sick. Anyway, baseball is ruining my weekly TV watching, so I’ll try to get some movie reviews up as I watch them. However, SSX On Tour is coming out today, so I imagine I’ll just be playing that all week.

Categorize this post as a post for the sake of posting.

gutter sluts

Yeah bowling was not to good last night. Ciggy got the high game of 164...twice. Craig Christ won a few and so did Dan...Sam didn't really feel like it, can't win every night. We are trying get get all the shit out of us on Sunday so we can roll good when it counts(Thursdays). Craig didn't spill any beer this time, we're proud of him.

To much drama

Ign just came out with a list of the top 25 dramas of all-time. I don't really know if i agree with a lot of the list. I am glad both Godfathers are on it, but I really don't know about The Graduate at the #13 spot. Good movie but the 13th best drama of all-time...

Well at least the won't have to update the list. Hollywood Quits.

room in this inn...

Got a few new cds yesterday---

The new Ryan Adams & the Cardinals album Jacksonville City Nights was the first on the list. Now I have always been a fan of Ryan even when he was a whiney little bitch or tried to be rock and roll so I knew I would like this cd for sure. Earlier this year he released the 2 disc set Cold Roses, which was one of his best to date, and I think that Jacksonville is quite a bit better. Even if you are not a fan you should just ignore who it is and listen to it, because its damn good music.

I also got the new Atmosphere cd You Can’t Imagine How Much Fun We’re Having. I haven’t listened to this one whole lot but it seems pretty good so far. I don’t think its going to be as good as Seven’s Travels or Lucy Ford but that would be hard to do. I think it is going to grow on me a bunch. If my opinion on it greatly changes I will let you know.

The immortal Stephen Lynch just released The Craig Machine. This is a great buy. I laugh every time I listen to it and I’m sure you will to. The only things wrong with it is that it is live in New York so the sound is kind of weak in some spots. The other thing that sucks is that I have already heard about half the songs in the set, that’s ok though 12 bucks is a small price from 8 or so new Lynch songs.

The Holy Team

It’s been a crazy past few days, hence the lack of posting. I dropped $200 some on my car the other day, fixing liquids and stuff I didn’t understand. Then yesterday, on my way to my company dinner, I ran over a speed bump a little too quickly, and my muffler dropped to the ground. It’s rigged up with a wire coat hanger right now, but I don’t think that’ll last too long. Damn old cheap bastard cars. Damn them to hell.

But bowling, that’s what’s important. Sunday night was officially declared Ciggy’s night. Three top games for the evening: 183, 187, and 190, all in a row. He landed two turkeys and picked up two splits. I really think it was a testament to his holy Jesus powers, and teamed up with his brother, Craig Christ, the Holy Team kicked Team Sam&Dan’s ass.

Key moment: The second game, none of us hit lower than a 150, and at least half were in the 170s (Sam and Cigs), I hit in the 160s, and Craig Christ in the 150s.

Also: missed all of TV last night because I was eating awesome food and drinking beer on the company’s tab.

Coming soon: my review of We ♥ Katamari.

Watch this show, this I command

This Saturday morning I caught the new G.I. Joe cartoon Sigma 6. I am really critical about these types of shows so I didn’t think I was going to like it. At first the animation kind of bothered me but I just had to get used to it not looking like it was made in the 80’s. I really like all the characters they had and they seemed to be true and accurate for the most part. The only thing that I picked up on was that when Snake-Eyes was fighting Storm Shadow, Storm Shadow refers to Snake-Eyes as his brother, which we all know is not true at all. They used to be best friends and they trained together but they do not share any of the same blood. You might say Storm Shadow was just using it was a figure of speech, which I think would be ok except for the fact that there are a lot of young viewers that are not as well informed as us and they might be deceived. I think that the voices were good for the most part. Cobra Commander’s voice was pretty weak, but the Bareness sounded just like she used to. The most exciting part was when Zartan and the Dreadnaughts showed up, and Zartan was in his old costume with the brown hood, fucking awesome. I plan on watching this show every week, and I would just like to take a moment to thank it for making me excited about G.I. Joes again. I’ve missed you guys…

Butch Walker

This weekend I went to Butch Walker concert in the Ascot room. I really didn't know what to expect because Butch writes typical, generic, shity pop music (that I love with all my heart). It was the Hotel Cafe tour with consisted of Butch Walker, Jim Bianco, Imogen Heap and Gary Jules. Jim Bianco was extremely enjoyable. He is kind of Tom Waits like mixed with a little M. Ward. I would recommend listening to some of it. I think a lot of people were there for Imogen Heap, who was not that good. She was trying way to hard to be Bjork, with all the voice fluctuations, atmospheric music with electronic drumbeats. Like Micah said "its kind of hard to like someone when the first thing you think of when you see/hear them is some dirty bag lady sitting in a park feeding the birds and singing really loudly to herself."
Butch blew me away. He sang a few new songs which were pure pop gold. The highlight was breaking into Kanye's "Gold Digger" in the middle of "Maybe its just Me" and the wrapping it up with a huge course singing Bowie's "Young American". The Prince covers were pretty damn cool as well. I would have been able to see better if there wasn't a 300 pound "white hat" football player getting into it like Ciggy gets into dumb blonds.
You can hear any of there music here.