I'm Late, I'm Late, I know...

I realize that Sam hates this excuse, but I have been rather busy at work, and was unable to even get access to the internet; hence, I haven’t posted on Sunday’s bowling. But since it was such an awesome night (for two of us), I’m still going to write about it.

One thing needs to be mentioned before I give the scores. Sam was already drunk when Cigs and I got there. I believe that this is why he didn’t have a great night until later into the evening. Also, it was hilarious to watch him go through the process of not being drunk enough to not be horribly upset right away to later in the night where he didn’t give a fuck if he threw the ball in the gutter. Coincidentally, it’s when he stopped caring (and took a shot of SoCo and lime) that he started bowling well again. Weird.

So, how did we do? Pretty fucking awesome. Overall, I beat Cigs by 2 pins with totals of 1605 and 1603. I had four games over 170, topping out at 190. Cigs had only four games under 160 and topped out at 203. We were neck to neck most games, resulting in insane tension and trash talking throughout the night. I had two turkeys, Cigs had one, and we had a few team turkeys. Like I said before, Sam started out a little shaky (although he did win the first game). He had a few rough games, then started bowling like he normally does after drinking a bit more.

Highlight: I threw my ball backward again and Sam hit the floor crying with laughter harder than my ball did.

the paper...

So, I was supposed to do a write up on bowling last night. And I will. At least half of a write up. I forgot the piece of paper that has all of our scores on it, so I can't say much. But, I will say this: We won 2 out of 3 games. Ciggy had a 224 in the second game. In the second game, we all started our first frame with a 4-5 split. We all kicked ass the first game, but, as we already know, I don't remember the exact scores. The only other thing worth saying is that we have finally bumped ourselves out of ninth place into sixth. With these two wins, hopefully we can make it into the top 5. Better update next time...

half gallon of proof

I don't have time for much so here is what you get. I went and saw King Kong today. I really liked it. It was awesome/intense/romantic/epic/funny and just an overall good time. I now support bestiality (I think that was Peter's goal). I hope all the christians protest the movie because you shouldn't be in a romantic relationship with a monkey. Monkeys can't be christians and the bible says to be equally yoked...I hope thats their argument.
Anyway...
Can't wait to see the gay cowboy movie this weekend. Anyone want to go? We could get a crew together.

SPLIT!!!11!

I sucked at bowling again. And while I did get the high score for the night with a 178, it took me four games to even get a strike, and I was the only one who didn’t get a turkey. Sam and Cigs didn’t bowl too hot either. Cigs did finish off with a 171 for his high game, and Sam had something around 150. There were many horrible games, but we ended the night well, dashing up to the lanes like children, screaming the setup we thought we would leave. It never really worked out, because I kept screaming, “STRIKE!” and “SPARE!” but mostly got a “SPLIT!”

Also: I’m not one to link to my friend’s blog, but if you’re looking for something hilarious to read, head on over to my buddy’s blog: Justin from One Trick Pony. Seriously. Also, if you want to watch something funny, watch his videos.

3 out of 3 isn’t bad, is it?

So, yes, we won all three games last night. And yes, we had a very solid first game. But, I’m still not satisfied with it. Why? Because I sucked. Well, not the first game. The first game, I had the low score for the game with a 157. Sam had a 189 and Cigs, the high of the night, 196. The second game, Ciggy and I decided that bowling was stupid, so we bowled a 122 and a 118, respectively. Sam, kept on with his whole, I’m-going-to-bowl-in-the-one-eighties-thing and bowled a 180. The third game, none of us bowled well. Sam still finished with a 146, but I had a 139, and Cigs had a 123.

And although some of those scores look rather stark, our averages were all right. I had a 138 average; Cigs, 147; and Sam with the insane 172 average for the night.

Highlights: In the first game, Sam started bowling strikes, and well, we really didn’t feel like stopping. He bowled four in a row, Cigs bowled a turkey, and I had scattered strikes throughout the game. In the end, Sam and Cigs had a total of 5 strikes each, and I had a total of 6 strikes. They still beat me because they linked theirs. Bastards.

sane man

Oops, no posts lately. I am at the end of the semester and have been busy as shit, I don't know what Dans excuse will be. I haven't watched any TV worth talking about yet this week so there really hasn't been much to my life. I did watch the first session of the Ali G show. Its amazing. I'm going to buy the 2nd session today...maybe I'll post about it in the near future.

My hero is coming back...kind of...hes still dead, but there is going to be some new Bill HIcks shit released. A show from 89 called "sane man". Im looking forward to it. Read about it and Hicks here.

"We gotta come to some new ideas about life folks ok? I'm not being blase about abortion, it might be a real issue, it might not, doesn't matter to me. What matters is that if you believe in the sanctity of life then you believe it for life of all ages. That's what I hate about this child-worship syndrome going on. "Save the children! They're killing children! How many children were at Waco? They're killing children!" What does that mean? They reach a certain age and they're off your fucking love-list? Fuck your children, if that's the way you think then fuck you too. You either love all people of all ages or you shut the fuck up." -Bill Hicks

Lanes made of gold

Yesterday, we found out we were loyal enough customers to bowl on the new, synthetic lanes. This means many things: 1) no more greasy, inconsistent lanes where your ball hooks one moment and then doesn’t in another, 2) the ball hooks more, making it more difficult to pick up the ten pin, and 3) consistency, which, in theory, means higher scores overall. It took a bit getting used to them, but I really think it’ll pay off in the end.

As for the night, we did fairly well. We all had decent games and there were some awesome games in there as well. Sam finished with the high for the night at a 205. My high game was a 190. Cigs’ was a 166. Sam had a record 8 turkey opportunities for the night, but only managed to convert 1. This might sound like he really sucks because he had 8 chances, but only got one; but, 7 doubles and 1 turkey is pretty goddamn impressive. I had 5 opportunities and 2 turkeys.

Other highlights: Sam was 3 for 3 on the 6-10 pin split conversion. I picked up a 7-5 pin split. Cigs somehow managed to launch the 8 pin into the 10 pin spot and left it standing. I almost threw the ball backward again.

Wild West

Top 5 Western films--
1-Tombstone
2-Magnificent Seven
3-An American Tail: Fievel Goes West
4-Dead Man
5-The Searchers

Runner up--
The Great Northfield Minnesota Raid--About Northfield Minnesota, filmed in my hometown in OR. My dad is in it as a lumberjack--kick ass.

Honorable Mention-
Shane-
Bill Hicks "I’m so sick of arming the world and then sending troops over to destroy the fucking arms, you know what I mean? We keep arming these little countries then we go and blow the shit out of ‘em. We’re like the bullies of the world, you know. We’re like Jack Palance in the movie Shane…Throwing the pistol at the sheep herder’s feet: “Pick it up.” “I don’t wanna pick it up mister, you’ll shoot me.” “Pick up the gun". “Mister, I don’t want no trouble huh. I just came down town here to get some hard rock candy for my kids, some gingham for my wife. I don’t even know what gingham is, but she goes through about 10 rolls a week of that stuff. I ain’t looking for no trouble mister.” “Pick up the gun.” Boom, boom. “You all saw him. He had a gun.”

A Miscellany of Information

Birthday update: The plans for going out on Saturday have now been firmed up. Location = Town Hall. Time = party o’clock = 9:30ish or whenever you feel the urge to party.

Neil Gaiman: Sam and I are heading to the Neil Gaiman reading/signing Saturday morning at dream haven books. If you want more info, go to dream haven’s site.

Also: If you're planning on murding someone, make sure you have a MySpace account. A) It will make you more famous. B) The media will be fascinated by the absurd connections they can make between teenagers, blogs, and murders. C) The police can trace your steps leading up to the murder by reading the posts you made a few days earlier.

Two out of Three

The team that we, Sebulski, were bowling against last night had two no shows, so we were left with playing one of their bowlers while the other two’s scores were just added as their averages. Doesn’t seem like that much competition, and it doesn’t seem like that would motivate us to do well…but it did…well, some of us. Sam had an off night, and so, for the sake of my life (he threatened my life last night) and for the sake of Sam, I won’t post his scores. It didn’t seem to matter that much though, because we took the first and last games anyway.

The first game, I thought I had the win until around the eighth frame when Cigs pulled ahead and finished with a 170 and I, a 150-something. We finished off our first team turkey. Second game, Cigs still did quite well and I bombed and got an unmemorable score. The third game was by far our best. I finished with a 182 and Cigs finished in the high 160s (?). The best part of the game was the string of strikes that was actually started by Sam.

Fifth frame, he decided to say Fuck You to the rest of the night and bowl a strike. Cigs then did the same. Then I did. Then Sam did. Then Cigs did. Then I did. It was insane. 6 strikes in a row. Sam missed the seventh, but then Cigs nailed his, which left him with the only individual turkey of the night and a total of three team turkeys. We finished strong, both Sam and I getting an 8-spare, strike in the tenth frame. Hell yes.

Other Highlights: The guy next to us bowled an amazing split conversion. It was a 7, 10, 4, 8 setup. He rocketed his ball between the 7 and 4, sent the 4 soaring into the 8, which crashed into the 10. Anyone who has no idea what I’m talking about and can’t appreciate the beauty of this amazing throw: go fuck yourself.

T5RWINHANTM

Instead of doing a full fledged post (because I have a meeting in 5 minutes), I will follow in the footsteps of Sam and give you my Top 5 Reasons Why I Now Hate America's Next Top Model:

1. Jayla’s gone
2. Kim’s gone
3. Nik isn’t gone
4. Bre isn’t gone
5. No one was making out/getting drunk/being a total bitch

That's really all that's worth knowing about the episode last night. Now it's not really worth watching.

birthday. party. saturday.

In lieu of my birthday (last Sunday) and because of its horrible proximity to Thanksgiving and people being out of town, we’re having a thing/party/get together somewhere on Saturday. So, I formally invite anyone and everyone and extend to you the right to invite others. Even if you hate my birthday, you can use it as an excuse to hang out with other people who also hate my birthday. The location is TBD. The begins at approximately party O’clock. Updates soon.

I'm gonna give you to the count of 10, to get your lying, yellow, no-good keister off my property, before...

Heres a try at a 2nd list...what do you think?

Top 5 holiday movies
1-Love Actually
2-Home Alone
3-A Christmas Story
4-The Nightmare Before Christmas
5-Bad Santa

Runner ups--
Edward Scissorhands
A Muppet Christmas Carol
Home Alone 2-Lost in New York
National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation