I'm Late, I'm Late, I know...

I realize that Sam hates this excuse, but I have been rather busy at work, and was unable to even get access to the internet; hence, I haven’t posted on Sunday’s bowling. But since it was such an awesome night (for two of us), I’m still going to write about it.

One thing needs to be mentioned before I give the scores. Sam was already drunk when Cigs and I got there. I believe that this is why he didn’t have a great night until later into the evening. Also, it was hilarious to watch him go through the process of not being drunk enough to not be horribly upset right away to later in the night where he didn’t give a fuck if he threw the ball in the gutter. Coincidentally, it’s when he stopped caring (and took a shot of SoCo and lime) that he started bowling well again. Weird.

So, how did we do? Pretty fucking awesome. Overall, I beat Cigs by 2 pins with totals of 1605 and 1603. I had four games over 170, topping out at 190. Cigs had only four games under 160 and topped out at 203. We were neck to neck most games, resulting in insane tension and trash talking throughout the night. I had two turkeys, Cigs had one, and we had a few team turkeys. Like I said before, Sam started out a little shaky (although he did win the first game). He had a few rough games, then started bowling like he normally does after drinking a bit more.

Highlight: I threw my ball backward again and Sam hit the floor crying with laughter harder than my ball did.

the paper...

So, I was supposed to do a write up on bowling last night. And I will. At least half of a write up. I forgot the piece of paper that has all of our scores on it, so I can't say much. But, I will say this: We won 2 out of 3 games. Ciggy had a 224 in the second game. In the second game, we all started our first frame with a 4-5 split. We all kicked ass the first game, but, as we already know, I don't remember the exact scores. The only other thing worth saying is that we have finally bumped ourselves out of ninth place into sixth. With these two wins, hopefully we can make it into the top 5. Better update next time...

half gallon of proof

I don't have time for much so here is what you get. I went and saw King Kong today. I really liked it. It was awesome/intense/romantic/epic/funny and just an overall good time. I now support bestiality (I think that was Peter's goal). I hope all the christians protest the movie because you shouldn't be in a romantic relationship with a monkey. Monkeys can't be christians and the bible says to be equally yoked...I hope thats their argument.
Anyway...
Can't wait to see the gay cowboy movie this weekend. Anyone want to go? We could get a crew together.

SPLIT!!!11!

I sucked at bowling again. And while I did get the high score for the night with a 178, it took me four games to even get a strike, and I was the only one who didn’t get a turkey. Sam and Cigs didn’t bowl too hot either. Cigs did finish off with a 171 for his high game, and Sam had something around 150. There were many horrible games, but we ended the night well, dashing up to the lanes like children, screaming the setup we thought we would leave. It never really worked out, because I kept screaming, “STRIKE!” and “SPARE!” but mostly got a “SPLIT!”

Also: I’m not one to link to my friend’s blog, but if you’re looking for something hilarious to read, head on over to my buddy’s blog: Justin from One Trick Pony. Seriously. Also, if you want to watch something funny, watch his videos.

3 out of 3 isn’t bad, is it?

So, yes, we won all three games last night. And yes, we had a very solid first game. But, I’m still not satisfied with it. Why? Because I sucked. Well, not the first game. The first game, I had the low score for the game with a 157. Sam had a 189 and Cigs, the high of the night, 196. The second game, Ciggy and I decided that bowling was stupid, so we bowled a 122 and a 118, respectively. Sam, kept on with his whole, I’m-going-to-bowl-in-the-one-eighties-thing and bowled a 180. The third game, none of us bowled well. Sam still finished with a 146, but I had a 139, and Cigs had a 123.

And although some of those scores look rather stark, our averages were all right. I had a 138 average; Cigs, 147; and Sam with the insane 172 average for the night.

Highlights: In the first game, Sam started bowling strikes, and well, we really didn’t feel like stopping. He bowled four in a row, Cigs bowled a turkey, and I had scattered strikes throughout the game. In the end, Sam and Cigs had a total of 5 strikes each, and I had a total of 6 strikes. They still beat me because they linked theirs. Bastards.

sane man

Oops, no posts lately. I am at the end of the semester and have been busy as shit, I don't know what Dans excuse will be. I haven't watched any TV worth talking about yet this week so there really hasn't been much to my life. I did watch the first session of the Ali G show. Its amazing. I'm going to buy the 2nd session today...maybe I'll post about it in the near future.

My hero is coming back...kind of...hes still dead, but there is going to be some new Bill HIcks shit released. A show from 89 called "sane man". Im looking forward to it. Read about it and Hicks here.

"We gotta come to some new ideas about life folks ok? I'm not being blase about abortion, it might be a real issue, it might not, doesn't matter to me. What matters is that if you believe in the sanctity of life then you believe it for life of all ages. That's what I hate about this child-worship syndrome going on. "Save the children! They're killing children! How many children were at Waco? They're killing children!" What does that mean? They reach a certain age and they're off your fucking love-list? Fuck your children, if that's the way you think then fuck you too. You either love all people of all ages or you shut the fuck up." -Bill Hicks

Lanes made of gold

Yesterday, we found out we were loyal enough customers to bowl on the new, synthetic lanes. This means many things: 1) no more greasy, inconsistent lanes where your ball hooks one moment and then doesn’t in another, 2) the ball hooks more, making it more difficult to pick up the ten pin, and 3) consistency, which, in theory, means higher scores overall. It took a bit getting used to them, but I really think it’ll pay off in the end.

As for the night, we did fairly well. We all had decent games and there were some awesome games in there as well. Sam finished with the high for the night at a 205. My high game was a 190. Cigs’ was a 166. Sam had a record 8 turkey opportunities for the night, but only managed to convert 1. This might sound like he really sucks because he had 8 chances, but only got one; but, 7 doubles and 1 turkey is pretty goddamn impressive. I had 5 opportunities and 2 turkeys.

Other highlights: Sam was 3 for 3 on the 6-10 pin split conversion. I picked up a 7-5 pin split. Cigs somehow managed to launch the 8 pin into the 10 pin spot and left it standing. I almost threw the ball backward again.

Wild West

Top 5 Western films--
1-Tombstone
2-Magnificent Seven
3-An American Tail: Fievel Goes West
4-Dead Man
5-The Searchers

Runner up--
The Great Northfield Minnesota Raid--About Northfield Minnesota, filmed in my hometown in OR. My dad is in it as a lumberjack--kick ass.

Honorable Mention-
Shane-
Bill Hicks "I’m so sick of arming the world and then sending troops over to destroy the fucking arms, you know what I mean? We keep arming these little countries then we go and blow the shit out of ‘em. We’re like the bullies of the world, you know. We’re like Jack Palance in the movie Shane…Throwing the pistol at the sheep herder’s feet: “Pick it up.” “I don’t wanna pick it up mister, you’ll shoot me.” “Pick up the gun". “Mister, I don’t want no trouble huh. I just came down town here to get some hard rock candy for my kids, some gingham for my wife. I don’t even know what gingham is, but she goes through about 10 rolls a week of that stuff. I ain’t looking for no trouble mister.” “Pick up the gun.” Boom, boom. “You all saw him. He had a gun.”

A Miscellany of Information

Birthday update: The plans for going out on Saturday have now been firmed up. Location = Town Hall. Time = party o’clock = 9:30ish or whenever you feel the urge to party.

Neil Gaiman: Sam and I are heading to the Neil Gaiman reading/signing Saturday morning at dream haven books. If you want more info, go to dream haven’s site.

Also: If you're planning on murding someone, make sure you have a MySpace account. A) It will make you more famous. B) The media will be fascinated by the absurd connections they can make between teenagers, blogs, and murders. C) The police can trace your steps leading up to the murder by reading the posts you made a few days earlier.

Two out of Three

The team that we, Sebulski, were bowling against last night had two no shows, so we were left with playing one of their bowlers while the other two’s scores were just added as their averages. Doesn’t seem like that much competition, and it doesn’t seem like that would motivate us to do well…but it did…well, some of us. Sam had an off night, and so, for the sake of my life (he threatened my life last night) and for the sake of Sam, I won’t post his scores. It didn’t seem to matter that much though, because we took the first and last games anyway.

The first game, I thought I had the win until around the eighth frame when Cigs pulled ahead and finished with a 170 and I, a 150-something. We finished off our first team turkey. Second game, Cigs still did quite well and I bombed and got an unmemorable score. The third game was by far our best. I finished with a 182 and Cigs finished in the high 160s (?). The best part of the game was the string of strikes that was actually started by Sam.

Fifth frame, he decided to say Fuck You to the rest of the night and bowl a strike. Cigs then did the same. Then I did. Then Sam did. Then Cigs did. Then I did. It was insane. 6 strikes in a row. Sam missed the seventh, but then Cigs nailed his, which left him with the only individual turkey of the night and a total of three team turkeys. We finished strong, both Sam and I getting an 8-spare, strike in the tenth frame. Hell yes.

Other Highlights: The guy next to us bowled an amazing split conversion. It was a 7, 10, 4, 8 setup. He rocketed his ball between the 7 and 4, sent the 4 soaring into the 8, which crashed into the 10. Anyone who has no idea what I’m talking about and can’t appreciate the beauty of this amazing throw: go fuck yourself.

T5RWINHANTM

Instead of doing a full fledged post (because I have a meeting in 5 minutes), I will follow in the footsteps of Sam and give you my Top 5 Reasons Why I Now Hate America's Next Top Model:

1. Jayla’s gone
2. Kim’s gone
3. Nik isn’t gone
4. Bre isn’t gone
5. No one was making out/getting drunk/being a total bitch

That's really all that's worth knowing about the episode last night. Now it's not really worth watching.

birthday. party. saturday.

In lieu of my birthday (last Sunday) and because of its horrible proximity to Thanksgiving and people being out of town, we’re having a thing/party/get together somewhere on Saturday. So, I formally invite anyone and everyone and extend to you the right to invite others. Even if you hate my birthday, you can use it as an excuse to hang out with other people who also hate my birthday. The location is TBD. The begins at approximately party O’clock. Updates soon.

I'm gonna give you to the count of 10, to get your lying, yellow, no-good keister off my property, before...

Heres a try at a 2nd list...what do you think?

Top 5 holiday movies
1-Love Actually
2-Home Alone
3-A Christmas Story
4-The Nightmare Before Christmas
5-Bad Santa

Runner ups--
Edward Scissorhands
A Muppet Christmas Carol
Home Alone 2-Lost in New York
National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation

Mag. P.I.

I didn't watch it because I don't like fat people but it turns out that Matt Hoover won on the Biggest Loser. He won $250,000 and lost 157 pounds. If you ask me he could still afford to lose another 50 or so. The more important question is "who cares?" People want to see good looking people on TV...STOP THIS SHOW.

If you are a dumb ass and haven't started watching Boston Legal yet you better soon. Tom Selleck is going to be guest staring on an episode. Wow, Spader, Shatner and Selleck...thats sssexy.

And I'm sure we all have missed our weekly diet of Paris and Nicole. Well fear not the Simple Life is on E! now...thank god.

1st Top 5

Ok last night me and Eric were sitting down making top 5 lists, and I thought "Hey we should start doing this on the site." So I am. We are now making Top 5 lists. Feel free to make suggestions for future lists and to bitch about what I think is great. So here we go on a desert island top five...
Film actors you would like to spend the day with
1-Johnny Depp
2-Christopher Walken
3-Bill Murray
4-Bill Shatner
5-Steve Zahn

Tuesdays the new Thursday

So we don't have league because of Thanksgiving so we went bowling last night. Things weren't so good...looks like we can only bowl on Thursdays and Sundays. Sam(I) was pretty average. The high game was a 168, which I got twice. I ended up with an average of 156. Dan and Ciggy would kick my ass if I told their scores. Me and Dan both bowled turkeys. Ciggy picked up a nice 5/7 split. Other than that we bowled pretty damn bad. We drank Amberboch instead of MGD so that was nice.

Highlight-
Me and Ciggy walk in and Dan is talking to this guy who wants to give him his bowling ball. Turns out the guy bowled like shit and blamed it on the ball so he was talking to his ball saying "I'm going to flip this coin and if it's heads you can come home with me, but if its tails we say our good byes and you stay here." Well it landed tails, so he was giving his ball to Dan. Turns out it didn't really fit Dan or Cigs, but it fit me perfectly. So I now have 2 bowling balls. This one is nice because its a 16 pounder and has the finger grips. I think its going to be my strike ball and old Sammy Hall with be my spare ball.
--If anyone has an extra bowling ball bag that they want to give me that would be grand.

2 200s, 5 turkeys, 1 misfire, & 1 nipple

Ah Sunday bowling. Again, a night of ten games is hard to keep straight, and so I’ll focus on some highlights. First and foremost, Ciggy bowled the high game of the night with a 229. He had an impressive six strikes in a row in the first six frames and then almost finished with another turkey in the end, but was shy one strike. I unexpectedly beat my all-time high score of 201 with a 205. I thought I was getting a 180-something until I realized that I bowled a turkey in the ninth to tenth frames. Sam had a high in the upper 160’s, I think. We had many close games.

Other highlights: Ciggy had three turkeys and I had two. At some point in the night I forgot how to hold a bowling ball and threw it backwards. I don’t think the other’s will let me live that down.

And this is for the O.C. fans out there. Or, at least, Mischa Barton fans…

I'm getting a new friend...

Nikki Reed is joining the cast of the OC. I don't know what part she is going to play but IGN thinks that "she might best fit in with the new group of kids from Newport Union, given her somewhat gritty indie rep." I think that this would be ok as long as she doesn't try to go after Seth...he's Summers. She's only on for 4 episodes so she might die or somthing like that.

For more sexy news David Bowie might be in the new Christopher Nolan film "The Prestige". I hope he does it...there isn't enough Bowie in my life. Hey when does he get a bio film. People would like that, more than a hobbit playing Iggy Pop at least. Does he have to die first?

306

I have been a little behind on my OC reviews. I haven't been able to download 305 yet so I'm just going to look at 306 right now and then I'll come back to it. It starts out with Marisa having this really weird dream about trey and all that shit. It was kind of weird. It's the only the 2nd time they have done something like this(slow motion/crazy dream vision). The other time was in 301 when they were doing a flash back to what happened with Trey after Marisa shot him. Anyway after the dream she calls Ryan who was sleeping and told her to back to bed and they would talk about it later. Marisa being kind of emotional just wanted to here that Ryan was there for her...this sets up Johnny being the "guy who understands me".
It is Ryan's first day back at Harbor and he can't get in trouble. Taylor is still a huge bitch and she is throwing a senior lock-in and the whole class has to go. Thats the only way she can make friends according to her mom anyway. "Locking in a bunch of kids so you don't have to spend another Saturday night alone...Taylor un-tuck your shirt your ass is so not made for low-riders."...nice mom.
Marisa and Johnny talk a bunch and open up to each other and flirt and have eye sex and try to pretend nothing is happening because they both already have significant others. Marisa ditches out on dinner at the Cohen's for Johnny. Summer sees what is going down and tries to stop it. Goes to the surfing party and sees the major flirting between Johnny and Marisa and calls Ryan to come break it up. Everything is weird...asshole surfer guy Volchek (sp.) sleeps with Johnny's girl...Ryan is there for him. Johnny goes after Volchek and would have got his ass kicked so Ryan comes and hits him...good old days. Because of this Summer and Ryan miss the lock-in. Taylor is making a fool of herself because everyone hates her...rightly so. She has a huge heart so he steps up and takes the attention away from bitch. She doesn't have any friends and Seth is alone so they end up hanging out. Now Taylor likes Seth and all that stuff.
Sandy isn't going to sell the Newport group he is now going to run it with his young apprentice Matt.
Kirsten is helping Julie and Charlotte throw a benefit thing. Julie and Charlotte and going to pull a scam and just split the profits.
Over all this was a really good episode. I can say that even more now that I have seen 307 and know how 306 is just setting up the best episode of the session. I really like that Ryan and Johnny have formed this kind of brother hood...it will help create more drama with the whole "we're friends but I like you girl" type thing. Kirsten is being used right now, but she is having a good time which is awesome, and she's still off the good stuff. Seth and Summer are always awesome...it will be interesting to see where is Taylor thing goes. I know Seth would never go for it, but Taylor is a scheming bitch...I'll have my review of 307 up soon.

Highlights...
-Chino Boy punching someone again.
-Taylor's awesomely mean mom
-Summer telling Ryan that Marisa is with Johnny. Seth "Ryan try not to punch Summer."
-Sandy about corporate America "I loath it all: the greed, republicans, navy suits."

Sebulski: a play

We started out rather strong in last night’s league bowling. I don’t know if it was the great O.C. episode, the bitchy, fat, lonely, white trash cunt screaming at us to take our street shoes off before descending the forbidden two steps that lead to the bowling lanes, or the fact that while said cunt was screaming at us, I sat in a puddle of water, but we were pretty worked up at the beginning, or, at least, I was.

The first game, I bowled a 150-something and Sam bowled a 140-something. Ciggy ended up lower than that, but it didn’t matter, because we won the match. The second game, I bowled a 168, Sam bowled a 150-something, and, again, Ciggy ended up much lower than that. Although we lost this game, it was pretty damn close. I tied one of their guys in handicap scores, Sam tied another, and then Cigs fell 10 pins shy.

The third game almost isn’t worth mentioning. Ciggy took off to go see the Harry Potter flick at midnight, so we set him up for blind bowling. He marked every frame that game (a three spare), which, I must admit, is pretty easy to do when the computer’s just filling it in for you. Without Ciggy there to do horribly, Sam and I amped it up a bit and bowled some of the worst games ever. Awesome.

Key moment:
Bitchy league woman [screaming]: “Don’t be so fucking stupid: take off your street shoes before going down there.”
Me: “Oh, well we’re here twice a week and it’s never been a problem.”
[We mumble hateful things together]
BLW: “Just don’t be so fucking dumb, Jesus.”
Ciggy: “Are you bowling here, right here [points at our table], right now?”
BLW: “Yes, we are.”
Ciggy: “Oh, because it looks like you’re a lane over and your game is finished.”
BLW: “It’s always the fucking men.”
Ciggy: “Yup, we’re all assholes.”
[A moment passes and then over the speakers we hear…]
Speakers: “Please do not wear your wet street shoes down by the lane.”
Us: “Jesus, they told on us.”
Me: “Why the fuck is my ass so wet?”
[Looks at chair; chair is wet; looks at ass; ass is wet.]
Me: “Damn.”
[End Scene]